Analysis Of The Gift Of Being Yourself

ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY

Allender, D. (2005). To Be Told: Know your Story, Shape your Future. (p. 1-23) Colorado Springs, CO: Waterbrooke Press.
Allender speaks of the value of seeing our life as a story, and of being able to actually read and understand our story, guided by God. He considers that we all ask how we answer the question ‘who am I, and what does it mean to be me?’ Allender highlights that it is in looking at the ‘characters’ we are surrounded by, the ones that gave birth to us, and also our past experiences and relational interactions – that will aid in the understanding of our own story. He speaks of being aware that these factors do, in part, help form patterns within our own lives (good or bad), and this in turn gives us insight

(2009). The Gift of Being Yourself. (p. 75-89). Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press.
The authors Benner and Pennington, speak of the damaging nature of the false self in contrast with the freedom of the true self. The false self is described as the reliance upon the attachments we form, to the things we attribute to making us special or proud of who we are. The reliance on these attributes are likened to the fig leaves that Adam and Eve used for the purpose of hiding behind, out of fear of being ‘seen’. The idea is expressed that we hide, in fear of people seeing the things we have at some point cast out of our lives in shame.
Benner and Pennington discuss what security really is – and consider that if found in the reliance to our attachments to our ‘special’ attributes, our joy becomes conditional on whether this quality was present or not. This dependence on the special attributes gives weight to – the false self. The less dependence we have on these, the more we are able to be our ‘true self’ and experience the free life that Christ offers. It is in our courage to step into the feelings of pain and fear that being without our ‘specialness’ would invoke, and allow Christ to envelope this ‘self’ as is, that we will begin to experience more of the ‘true

(2011). Interpersonal Process in Therapy: An Integrative Model (6th ed.). (p. 46-93). Pacific Grove, CA: Brookes/Cole.
Teyber discusses the concept of a Working Alliance relationship and what this looks like between a client and therapist. Teyber describes this relationship as a particularly empathic way of being, listening and responding to a clients’ concerns. He explains that this relationship must begin upon the foundation of trust, and is very importantly, an equal partnership that is active but not authoritative by nature. Teyber believes that to offer therapy from an authoritarian position may create a reliance on the therapist, rather than fostering an empowerment that the client can draw from their own self.
He discusses how an active Working Alliance encourages growth through the partnership, by way of responding to concerns in a thought provoking yet sensitive and empathic manner (process comments). This teaches the client to start looking within, rather than outside, to find and trust their own voice – which is necessary in order to flourish in the world they are planted in. Teyber believes when the therapist is striving to possess empathy within all aspects of the partnership, this allows the client to begin to be open in areas they may not have ever felt safe enough to do so before, and subsequently begin to