Chapter Four - Shame On Me Essay

Chapter Four - Shame On Me Essay

Length: 1277 words (3.6 double-spaced pages)

Rating: Better Essays

Open Document

Essay Preview

Shame is one of the most devastating emotions a human can experience. It limits your ability to achieve your full potential in all areas of life. His head is down, not looking anyone in the eye, because, “If you really knew me, you wouldn’t love or accept me.” (p. 55) Shame carries the belief that they are a bad person. It is not that bad things happened to them or they did bad things, but that they are a bad person. He might hear voices in his head telling him how bad he is. “Such sexual disgrace connects to the very core of the masculine soul.” (p. 56) The author discuses three types of sexual shame.
Sexual Performance Shame
In today’s society, not able to get or maintain an erection is a real problem with men. This can lead a man to thinking he is not a good lover if he has this problem, therefore feeling inadequate and shamed. Who does he talk to, his doctor, pastor, or friend? He feels isolated. Another issue is that of premature ejaculation. Not being able to last longer for the enjoyment of the spouse can bring the feeling of shame and inadequacy. The third issue that brings shame is not being able to bring your spouse to orgasm. Some men attach their “manliness” to being able to do it. “Some men take this personally and feel sexually inadequate when they experience orgasm but discover their wife needs a different form of stimulation.” (p. 57) The final issue is one of anatomy. Since junior-high, fun has been made of the size of his penis. This shame can be deep rooted. Although he satisfies his wife and receives praise, he still feels less of a man. Some men have tried implants and other enhancements because they cannot accept the way God made their body. This shame can inhibit him from God’s sex...

... middle of paper ...

...s the strength of shame.” (p. 71) Confession for men may be difficult because they want to be perceived as smart and successful. Remember, we are human, not a god. We all make mistakes and fail on our journey in life. The author gives a list of to whom you can talk. To develop courage it may be helpful to use the symbolic two chair approach and practice what you are going to say.
Be Proactive – Weiss suggests some action plans on page 72-73. Some of the plans are, go to a doctor, read a book on your issues, see a professional counselor, or regularly practice with your wife the techniques recommended.
Honor Yourself
Don’t do the things you know will cause you shame. Have a lifestyle that honors God, others, and yourself. Engage in building positive self-esteem. “If you do commit a less-than-wonderful act, talk about it as soon as possible so shame can’t grow.” (p. 73)

Need Writing Help?

Get feedback on grammar, clarity, concision and logic instantly.

Check your paper »

Choosing Bankruptcy: Chapter 7 Versus Chapter 13 Essay

- Fear of financial devastation or ruin caused over 1.5 million Americans to file bankruptcy in 2010. (Chapter 13) Statistics provided by the U.S. Bankruptcy Courts show that financial hardship can strike anyone (U.S. Bankruptcy). According to The Nations Health magazine, medical bankruptcies comprised two thirds of all bankruptcies filed in 2007, meaning the debtor’s list of creditors included some sort of delinquent medical bills (Currie). Christine Dugas points out in USA Today that as the unemployment rate increases so will bankruptcy filings (Dugas)....   [tags: Finance, Debt, America]

Better Essays
682 words (1.9 pages)

Essay on The Second Chapter Of ' The Cold Blood '

- The second chapter of ' 'In Cold Blood ' ' focuses on the aftermath of the murders. While the townspeople and investigators cope with the murder of the Clutter family, the killers make their way to Mexico. Aftermath of the Murders The Clutters ' neighbors try to make sense of the brutal massacre of an entire family in Chapter 2 of Truman Capote 's In Cold Blood. Andy Erhart, Herb Clutter 's friend of thirty years, describes Herb in glowing terms. 'Everything Herb had, he earned - with the help of God....   [tags: In Cold Blood, Truman Capote, Richard Hickock]

Better Essays
710 words (2 pages)

Essay on The On Day Four Gods

- On day four God said, “Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years, 15 and let them be lights in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth” (Gen 1:14). God made the sun, moon and stars, to shed light upon the earth. On day five God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky” (Gen 1:20). God created every living creature of the seas such as fish and every winged animal like bird....   [tags: Adam and Eve, Garden of Eden, Book of Genesis]

Better Essays
731 words (2.1 pages)

Essay on The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystanders by Barbara Coloroso

- ... Coloroso (2010) declared that “kids who bully, who are targets, and who are bystanders are all bound up in the cycle of violence and weakened by the experience [bullying]” (p. 45). Considering the negative impact that bullying has on all children, logic dictates that school districts would seek assistance in order to reduce bullying in their schools. Furthermore, Coloroso made a strong case that anyone who idly stands by while a child is being bullied, “aids and abets the bully through acts of omission and commission” (p....   [tags: shame, bystander, resoluton]

Free Essays
529 words (1.5 pages)

Novel Critique of The Four Things That Matter Most Essays

- Ira Byock wrote the novel The Four Things That Matter Most, in 2004. Mr. Byock is a renowned medical doctor who specializes and practices in palliative care and his main interest is offering care to alleviate mental, emotional, and physical symptoms for those that are in their last moments of life. His enriching novel discusses these concepts; it is a helpful tool for those that are dying, or for their loved ones facing the reality of the impending death, and for those that have lost a loved one....   [tags: Ira Byock novel analysis]

Better Essays
1883 words (5.4 pages)

Critical Analysis of Chapter 13, Scarlet Letter Essay

- Midway through The Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne gives the reader an in-depth look at the change in Hester Prynne's character. The chapter title: "Another View of Hester" sets the stage for the discussion of the change in Hester's personality, character, and intellect as well as a summary of her past four years. This "other view" refers both to the changing perception of the Puritan community toward Hester as well as the narrator's detailed description of the changes in her. There are several key changes in this chapter, which can be considered....   [tags: American Literature]

Better Essays
688 words (2 pages)

Essay Oliver Twist: A Summary Chapter by Chapter

- Oliver Twist Chapter 1 Oliver Twist is born in a workhouse with the help of a drunken nurse and the parish surgeon. His mother, who they had found on the streets that night, has no wedding ring and after kissing her child on the forehead, dies. Chapter 2 Oliver is sent to a workhouse branch for children like him. The overseer is given a sum of money to keep each child healthy, but she keeps most of it for herself and lets the children starve and occasionally die. When Oliver turns nine, a church official named Mr....   [tags: chapter, workhouse]

Better Essays
2289 words (6.5 pages)

Chapter Four And Five Of Ephesians Essay

- Identify what chapter in this epistle you will focus on. Chapter ___6___What happens in the previous chapter(s) prior to this chapter and how does it connect and flow with the next chapter and/or epistle. If chapter four and five of Ephesians were to be summarized, they would be summed up as, “walk in a manner worthy of the calling.” Paul encourages the believer to walk in faith, all while reminding them that as believers they have an obligation to live as servants of Jesus Christ. In Ephesians chapter five, verse one; Paul emphasizes the amount of hard work it takes to live in unity with each other, and states that they should be imitators of God....   [tags: New Testament, Jesus, Bible, Gospel]

Better Essays
1589 words (4.5 pages)

Essay about Chapter Four Of The United States

- Chapter Four We took things slow, the two of us going out on dates with one another frequently. However, I knew that my child was growing within myself, and I wanted to tell him about it sometime soon. I know that Makoto was a busy man, but I did want to let him know so that it wouldn’t be too awkward for us. But how was I supposed to do it. How could I tell him. O started to grow a bit distant with him, unsure of how to tell him about the child. He would call me, trying to ask if I wanted to see him, but then I would say that I was busy....   [tags: 2007 singles, 2006 singles, 2000 singles]

Better Essays
1100 words (3.1 pages)

Chapter Four Of Ayers Book Essay

- Chapter four of Ayers book tells the story of an advanced placement biology class with a achievement gap that may result in students losing college prerequisite requirements. The new teacher Mr. Korshak faces a dilemma when twenty percent of his students are failing the first semester of the sophomore Advanced Placement biology class. At first teachers believed that science and math were clear cut subjects where studying produces the understanding needed to be successful in the class. Unfortunately, those twenty percent of failing students will not be able to apply to college in the upcoming year....   [tags: High school, Education, Roman numerals, Teacher]

Better Essays
1523 words (4.4 pages)