Argumentative Essay: Selling Food By Brevard High School

Brevard High School’s curriculum necessitates the completion of a final research paper that is graded by local college professors in order for students to obtain their high school diploma. I can recollect on the impending feeling of dread as the graded argumentative essays were returned to my class. As I reviewed the comments made on my rubric section, I discovered that I would have received a perfect score on my paper due to the extensive research I had compiled. Unfortunately, I had not cited one of my sources correctly, which deducted a significant amount of points from my final grade. My teacher communicated that he planned on advocating for my grade to be reconsidered, because he believed that I should have received a higher score than

After receiving thoroughly honest feedback from my writing group members, it was obvious that one of the main obstacles restricting my essay from conveying the true nature of my advertisement was the misconception of disdain towards the particular audience I was attempting to appeal to, which was initially the “preppy kids” of Instagram. In order to fix this problem I subsequently removed the word “preppy” from my entire essay. This was due to the bias that it created in regards to the target audience. I exchanged the adjective “preppy” with“young adults” to better describe who my advertisement was meant to appeal

Dr. Shook’s critiques directed me to revise for the lack of transitional phrases between main ideas within my essay, as well as my tendency to compose run-on sentences. Accordingly, I inserted transitions that connected the major points that my essay touched upon. In order to do so, I used phrases such as “furthermore” in order to create a better flow without compromising the important ideas that were essential in regards to properly communicating the context to my audience. By commencing the process of revising my first essay, I developed the understanding that one of my shortcomings as a writer at the beginning of the semester included compiling numerous ideas into one sentence, consequently making it too “heavy.” By taking corrective action, I separated sentences that surpassed three lines into two entities. I found that Informal Assignment 10: Writing with Clear Style, assisted in improving my understanding of how my style of writing assists in communicating to my audience. Initially, I failed to realize that clear communication is of the utmost importance in regards to becoming an astute college writer. I entered English 101 focusing on incorporating words with over three syllables to intelligently convey my argument instead of focusing on how clearly my argument will be received by my