. In Alfred Adler’s theory he believed that everyone has a style of life: unique behaviors and characteristics. He listed the four styles as “dominant,” a ruling attitude; “getting,” the most dependent behavior; “avoiding,” meaning one does not face problems; and the most well-rounded: “socially useful.” He determined that our style of life is determined by our social experiences and our major social experiences are in our own home, depending on when you were born within your family.
A first-born has their parents’ attention. That is until a younger sibling comes along. they then receive a shock that they are not in control of the house. The first-born now have to wait for attention, be quiet, and take turns. There are ways for first-born to regain power. Parents often expect the first-born to help care for the younger children. This gives them an advantage over younger. They learn to organize, be conscientious, to lead, to teach and they get to be the disciplinarian. Studies done on birth order show that first borns have “higher achievement” and “higher intelligence” “ score lower depression and anxiety and higher self-esteem” and “were more likely to become accountants, lawyers, architects, surgeons, college professors or astronauts.” (Schultz, Duane P., Schultz,Sydney E,, 2013). Who would not want to be the first-born?
Second-born children come in and dethrone the first-born, then try to compete with them. If a child is born after the second-born, they do not feel the dethroned by the third-born. They have never had any real power. By now the novelty of being a parent has worn off. Parents are more relaxed. The second-born must now live up to the standards that the first-born set. ...
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...ove all or part of his theory. As a sibling or a parent you do not need to conduct a large study or embark on a research project to study this theory. You have everything you need right in your home or work place. As an oldest child and having four children I can see how everyone fits together. It gave me a lot of insight on my feelings toward my younger sisters. I am able to understand why my middle sister does not feel good enough; having an older sister like me to compete with! And why the baby sister seems to never do anything wrong; she learned from our mistakes and she is a faster learner. This is not a perfect science, there are first-born who have last-born traits or the second-born who has first-born traits. With blended families today it is possible to be an only child and a second-born. This theory is merely a framework to better understanding ourselves.
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