Essay PreviewMore ↓
I was like most children seem to be, once a member of a loving family of a dad, a “mom” a sister and myself. But just like half of marriages in the United States and Canada my parents got divorced (McCornack Pg.326). After a long and dramatic outing with my mother I eventually was forced to mature at a young age and decide that living with my mom was not what was best for me and my future. I moved in with my dad full time and joined the lifestyle of the bachelor pad. But even though I was more than happy just living with my dad and my sister, I was unable to fathom how my dad must have felt at the time, and I realize now that no one likes to be alone. Even though he had us kids which I’m sure he would say is more than enough to make him happy, I can now see that everyone wants to have a significant other in their life and I couldn’t be happier now that he didn’t let us kids turn him away from that. But let me assure you it hasn’t always been that way. My dad started to date Renee Brisbois, and eventually married her on August 11th 2006. Renee was everything that anyone could want in a mother figure, but at the time that’s made managing my emotions such an issue. We both had a mutual love for my dad and I had a hard time sharing him, this was early enough in our relationship too where Renee and I hadn’t established very good interpersonal communication and communicating skills so I never expressed my frustrations with her in an effective way. I just used negative non-verbal communication like ignoring her, or negative body language every time I saw her with my dad. This was a very emotional time period for the both of us and it went on for moths until she became very honest with me and told me that she isn’t trying to replace my mom, but to be the best wife and step-mom she could.
How to Cite this Page
"My Mother." 123HelpMe.com. 29 Mar 2020
Need Writing Help?
Get feedback on grammar, clarity, concision and logic instantly.Check your paper »
- Mother Vs Father Everyone has a mother and a father however, some people only live with one of the parents. Some parents are single parent or some have remarried to a different person, thus giving the child a stepparent. If the step parent is up for the challenge and parents correctly, they can easily just become a mother or father figure instead of the step mom or step dad. Regardless, there is many differences between a mother and father. They typically have different ideas on parenting styles, different attitudes towards certain experiences or ideas, etc.... [tags: Family, Parenting, Stepfamily, Mother]
931 words (2.7 pages)
- Even before my first tear hits the ground, my mother is there to wipe it away. My mother feels my pain before I can even realize it. She understands my needs before I can even think of them. That’s why we call her a mother. My mother has been an extraordinary influence on my life and always will be. She’s the kind of mom who would always take time out and care for her four children and the mom who would never let her hardships in her life distress her kids. My mother has always been a very strong role model to me, and growing up with someone like her to look up to has changed my life in many ways.... [tags: mother, ]
582 words (1.7 pages)
- Imagining a world without a mother is a very gut wrenching feeling. A mother is usually the support system for a child during the stages of development. A mom is a mom no matter if they stay at home or if they are working independently. Years ago a woman’s job in society was to simply take care of the family’s day to day responsibilities and the children. Throughout time more women have created a life for themselves by helping support their families financially. One of a mother’s greatest assets is connecting with their child.... [tags: Mother, Family, Mother, Wife]
1033 words (3 pages)
- This is going to be an obvious answer to the question, ‘Who is significant to me?’ Yet, my answer would be my mother. I would hope that most people would answer the same because it would be a shame if others would overlook their overpowering love and sacrifice. Being a mother has a job that most are not capable of fulfilling; my mother is one of those people who can fulfill the tiring job. My mother uses phrases that I always end up laughing at, but honestly, what good parent doesn’t. “Don’t be a statistic” is one my mom’s favorite things to say to me as I am leaving the house.... [tags: Mother, Family, Mother goddess, Thought]
1091 words (3.1 pages)
- It took a long time to value the exceptional influence my mother has been on my life. She is the type of person who has thoughtful discussions about the importance of building a united family. The type of mother who always has time to listen when I need to express my feelings. The type of benevolent individual who loves to help anyone who is in need. Growing up with such a strong role model, I developed many of her convictions and interests. I not only came to enjoy the enthusiasm of learning simply for the profit of knowing something new, but I also came to conceive her notion of contributing with the community in exchange for an excelling sense of life, love, and spirit.... [tags: mother, heroes, ]
498 words (1.4 pages)
- Single Mothers Reflection Being a single mother is a challenge, but is it an advantage or disadvantage. Since a few years ago the number of single mothers has been increasing rapidly. According to the Census Bureau of the United States, between 1985 and 2015 the number of single mothers increased by 10 million, but considering the total amount of families with children younger than 18 years old single mother households represent the 30 percent of them (Sandberg 122). It is clear that being a single mother should no longer be seen as something negative.... [tags: United States, Law, Mother, Abuse]
1021 words (2.9 pages)
- Mother, I am not looking for the absolution and undoubtedly I don’t deserve it in your eyes. Your eyes… always so full of concern; constantly accusing. The pressure you put on me and the pain it caused was unbearable. Everything you have done – you told me – you were doing for my own good. But you never realized I grew up did you. It’s not possible, it’s just wrong that you want to make all decisions for me: beginning with the extracurricular lessons, through carefully selected well mannered friends and even the damn shoes.... [tags: Absolution, Mother, ]
1756 words (5 pages)
- The one person that I could never live without, the reason I am standing till this day, is my mother. My mother is who I thank and admire most of all. Without her dedication and hard work, I would be in the squatters of the Philippines, stuck in a place where it is a very difficult place to make a good enough living or even make enough money to keep the bread on the table for your family. Her main goal and dream was to pass the NCLEX exam, it would permit her to go to America. That would allow her to make a better living and life for herself and to get a job, in order to send back money needed for her family.... [tags: heroes, mother,]
494 words (1.4 pages)
- It seemed like a normal day when I entered Mrs. A’s AP Language and Composition class, but little did I know that she was going to assign a very important project that was going to take forever. I took my seat and wrote down what was on the board. Then I sat patiently and waited for Mrs. A to come explain what we were doing today. When the tardy bell rang, Mrs. A glided into the room and gave us all a stack of papers. She then proceeded to discuss our upcoming assignment, a memoir. As she explained the very important assignment, I wondered whom I would write about.... [tags: biography, mother,]
1541 words (4.4 pages)
- The Good Mother – A Passive Life "We live in a world...where the decisive deed may invite the holocaust." --John Updike An interesting question that emerges while reading The Good Mother is: Why did Anna let it happen. Of course, this question must be included among many others, most of which elicit ambiguous answers: What really happened. Was there fault to be assigned. If so, who was at fault. What is a good mother. Can a woman be a good lover and a good mother. Where must sexual boundaries be drawn between children and couples in a household.... [tags: Good Mother]
1365 words (3.9 pages)
- The Strategy of 'Proxy War' According to Christopher Chase-Dunn
- We Must Become Culturally Aware
- Self-representation in William Wilson by Edgar Allan Poe and Bartleby, the Scrivener by Herman Melville
- Portfolio of Five Studies that Changed Psychology
- Protecting Students at Universities
- Should Photojournalism or Documentary Photography Be Considred Art?
As I touched on in the last paragraph, the relationship that I have with my stepmom today could not be any more genuine and true. Throughout the years not only have we grown extremely close but between the two of us specifically we have co-created meanings of our own and specific ways of sharing emotions. One way that may seem subtle to many, is the relationship my step-mom and I have created with our dog. My step mom had never had a dog of her own as an adult, and I was never really old enough to have any part in raising my previous dogs until we got our chocolate lab puppy coco together. Since then we have co-created a handful of phrases to describe our dog and her actions. One example of this is when my step mom gets home from work and I would be coming home for dinner. Coco (our dog) gets super excited and will literally be prancing and hopping around us. We have come to call this her “dinner dance” because she always does it we believe to symbolize that she is hungry. This is funny to us every time we see it and can turn around either of our moods instantly just seeing how happy she is to see us. Another more meaningful relational maintenance strategy my step mom and I have is our ways of sharing emotion. This is one of my most cherished characteristics because I feel that she values my opinions just as much as I value hers, which is rare for a mother son relationship. I never feel like she is treating me like a subordinate, but more as a peer. Since my step mom went from having only her one young son (my now younger step-brother) to stepping into the role of parenting a very difficult teenage boy in myself, she never had the gradual familiarization with how to handle this age and what is common and what isn’t. Now that I am older, a lot of what we share and discuss is how to handle my little brothers situations. I think this means a lot to her because although I can only imagine that a parent must worry about every little thing their child does, I can help her by explaining what is just a normal punk teenager role. Vise versa to this my step mom has literally lifted thousands of metaphorical pounds off my back as well. Growing up under the eye of mostly just my father, it is sometimes hard to share my opinion when I disagree with him. My step-mom has provide me with someone who I can share my emotion with about my family and not only be taken seriously but who I know will help me out and treat me like an adult.
The way I communicate with my stepmom is something that I think is very unique to our relationship. We have an ongoing relational maintenance that I feel has not only brought us extremely close but also allows us to continue to grow even though we are apart.
Even though I could not be happier about how my relationship with my step mom is today, there are still some things I think we could work on in our relationship. There are a few forms of communication competence that I think would really benefit us both to acknowledge and try to change in the future. The first form of this is I have work on is self-monitoring how my actions affect our relationship. I often get so caught up in what I’m doing that I forget that my actions don’t just affect me and I believe that detracts from our relationship. A perfect example of this is that I sometimes forget to personally call my step-mom on a regular basis. Now this has nothing to do with me not loving her or not wanting to talk, but more that I just forget by getting so caught up in college life. I have had to self-monitor these actions and realize that when I don’t call her it doesn’t just hurt myself, but I forget that she often needs me. She may never admit this to me especially because she doesn’t want to stress me, but I know this is just a sign of her shyness. I often wish she would be less shy with me when she has personal problems but I have learned that this is something I cant expect her to change, but now more of something that I can adapt to by asking her myself if everything is ok. This method of taking her shyness that could easily be something that detracts from our relationship and turning it into something that enhances our relationship has helped a lot. This is definitely something I want to continue to work on because she has given me so much physically and mentally for years now and has helped me to go through hell and back, and the least I can do is always be here for her.
Like any relationship should, there are always ups and downs. But in the relationship I have with my stepmom I find it very full strengths. One of the best strengths that we have is our listening skill, which I believe has drastically enhanced our relationship. I firmly believe to have good listening skills you have to have respect for the person you are listening too. I think that the level of respect that I have for my stepmom is sometimes something that she can’t even understand. This really allows me to listen to what she says and not only listen but interact with her. This is a huge part of communicating because almost everyone can listen but its how you act upon what you hear which is valuable in a relationship. Another enhancing factor in our communicative process is trust or in the terms of our textbook self-disclosure. Our textbook describes self-Disclosure as “sharing your private thoughts and feelings with family and allowing them to do the same with you” (McCornack 62-68). To open up to your mom is something that is difficult for anyone, but opening up to a woman who isn’t actually related to me was even a bigger step. Once I allowed my self to do so with her though, I gained much more from our conversations. I learned that what I told her would stay between us, and that what she tells me she can trust I will withhold to. I think trust is very important in a relationship not for keeping secrets, but it allows you to talk about those tough situations that bother you the most that you cant explain to everyone. I think that these strengths my stepmom and I hold are much deeper that a lot of kids relationships with their real parents and I think this far exceeds the definition of what a mom relationship should be.
Although my step-mom and I great relationship I think that there are a few things that we could do to make it even better. I think personally I could focus more on Assurances with my step-mom. In chapter 10 under family relationships McCornack explains that assurances are “offering regular assurances of how much your family means to you” (pg. 300). I know my step-mom knows I genuinely love her, but I think I could do a better job of expressing that more frequently. Also on the topic of Assurances I think that ever since I have gone to college I have to change the way I show appreciation. I should be telling her how grateful and thankful I am for providing me with everything they have. The last thing that I think could improve our relationship would be our management of power. This has been a relatively recent struggle since it didn’t really come about until I returned home from college last summer. After being on my own for almost a whole year, It was hard to come home and have a curfew and structured rules to live by again. I think I had a bit of a battle with my parents especially my step-mom over small tedious tasks like keeping my room clean or picking up my brother from soccer. These frustrations built up between the both of us and I think added a lot of tension throughout the summer. I think a lot of it is my fault to understand that they are still my parents and I have to respect what they want, but at the same time I think my step-mom could also work on listening and understanding that I’m not used to being supervised again and to have a little more patient with me.
There is a quote from “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” that says “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring – all of which have the potential to turn a life around” (Chapman, Gary). This is my new favorite quote and I don’t think could fit my relationship with my step-mom any better. It says nothing about being a mother, a mom, or providing any stupid pizza; but what it does say is how everyone can turn someone’s life around if they try, and my-step mom, Renee, Mom or anything else you want to call her has don’t just that. She turned my life around, and I will always love her and know she feels the same.
Chapman, Gary . The 5 love languages. 2009. Print.
McCornack, Steven. "Reflect & Relate." Bedford St.Martin's. (201