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Effects of unresolved conflict in marriage
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Most couples will at one point or another in their lives consider marriage. Perhaps the two persons have known each other for years, or perhaps they just met each other a few months ago. While love and affection might be some of the key components in a marriage, or any relationship to say the least. Some of the largest and most crucial factors of a relationship’s standing have to do with decision making, conflict resolution, and finances. Whether both of the individuals work full-time, or one partner is the “stay-at-home” type, we can honestly say that spending habits and conflicts should be properly addressed. If one of the partners feels that the other partner is being negligent in regards to the couple’s financial standing, it can be considered grounds for possible conflict and even divorce. Being negligent of finances in a marriage can cause the divorce of what was at one point, a happy marriage. By definition, marriage is the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife (Oxford Dictionaries). In the past many people did not tend to look into what the financial standing of their partner-to-be looked like. They simply paid attention to the emotional standing of their relationship, and that was it. Today though, more and more people are figuring out what each party can or cannot bring to the table. When considering what is more frankly, a legal union. For many people, someone with great wealth, or any, is attractive. Yet, someone with excess debt, or any at all, is a deal breaker. The other party will usually evaluate old debt as a caution and shy away from the risk of being tied to another’s premarital duties or mistakes. To ensure that both minds in a marriage will come to similar requirements on issues, is to say that both individuals have evaluated each other and see each other as being well fit to
This correlates with data found in Steuber and Paik (2014) article regarding cohabitation. The researchers found that majority of cohabitating relationships are formed in early adulthood (Steuber & Paik 2014). The responses from the five couples also show that cohabitating can be a short-lived union (ibid). Couple D moved the quickest and married within a year of cohabitating together (Personal experience D 2014). Couple E separated after three years of cohabitation (Personal E 2014). These two experiences show that cohabitation can be short-lived relationships that end within three years (Steuber & Paik 2014).Of the duration of my research, Couple A, B, and C remain in cohabitating relationships, it will be interesting to see how these three cohabitating relationships will end. Couple A, B, C, D and E list some type of financial constraint as a reason for cohabitating. Couple A are in entry level position jobs and living in Toronto (Personal experience A 2014). This couple expressed that it is cheaper to share expenses especially rent (ibid). Couple B decided to cohabitate together because it is financially more stable to share expenses (Personal experience B 2014). The female in this relationship is finishing her postgraduate education and the male works full time (ibid). Couple D also had financial constraints because of the expensive rent in Toronto, and the male is still completing his education (Personal experience D 2014). Couple E had financial constraints because they were employed in low income jobs (Personal experience E 2014). They both only have high school education (ibid). The personal experiences experienced by these four couples show the financial insecurity of this age group. This correlates well with data found in the Statistics Canada (2012) financial security survey, the median net worth of individuals under the age of 35
The marriage contract is essentially a monopoly document. It represents a legally sanctioned collusive agreement between two parties to exclude competitors and restrain trade. It closes the market to competition, or at least it is supposed to. This collusion has benefits as well as costs. Because I have exclusive rights to her affections and property rights to a stream of highly valued domestic services, I place a higher value on my spouse, making me willing to share with her a greater percentage of my wealth. My spouse receives a comparable set of benefits from this collusive arrangement.
Divorce is something that affects millions of Americans. When my grandmother got divorced, she was left with little money and no job. She was able to get a job and provide for herself, but with the poverty rates for divorced women being significantly higher than for divorced men, it is a problem in society (Gadalla, 2008). When women feel unable to provide for themselves, and in some cases their children as well, they will likely seek government benefits. This will inevitably cost the taxpayers money. A recent study of Texas showed that 13.8 billion dollars’ worth of government benefits a year was the result of poverty after a divorce (Schramm et al., 2013). It has been found that after a divorce, women are left as the main caregivers
Divorce is an increasing problem with over half of marriages ending in divorce. It is important to understand that no marriage is identical. The excuses married couples believe they need a divorce can vary. Marriage is a life long decision and should not be taken lightly. Once you get to know a potential mate you should consider marriage, but not until you know the person you may marry as they really are and not the way they are just in front of you.
“Money, frequently cited as the biggest source of stress in family life, is often an even more challenging matter for members of stepfamilies”
It appears that as time goes by, people view marriage more romantically, and less economically. Samuell Sewell viewed marriage as a way to advance monetarily. In his diary he writes, "I said 'twould cost L100. per annum: she said twould cost but L40"(63). This is just one example of him carefully calculating the costs of marriage.
Marriage is a commitment that seems to be getting harder to keep. The social standards placed on an individual by society and influenced by the media inevitably lead some to consider divorce as a “quick-fix” option. “Have it your way” has become a motto in the United States. It has become a country without any consideration of the psychological effects of marriage and divorce. The overwhelmingly high divorce rate is caused by a lack of moral beliefs and marital expectations.
Family Law (Law Express) 2th edition, by Jonathon Herring, published by Pearson Education Limited 2009
Divorce is a growing epidemic in Canada and the United States. It affects both parties involved, being the spouses, and also has a profound affect on children of the marriage. Recently our government has been revising the old divorce act. It was apparent that it was time to revise the act because it did not properly protect the children from being caught in the middle of things.
Forty-nine percent of divorced people from Elizabeth Bernstein 's study stated that when they were married, they argued over money more than anything else. Many people believe there will be a money problem in their next marriage because of different spending styles, lying about what they are spending money on, and one person making more money than the other and trying to control them because of it (Bernstein, 2012). When someone is bullied or overpowered because they do not make as much money as their spouse, there will be high conflict. It is not okay for someone to look down upon their spouse in any circumstance. A report done by moneysupermarket.com has found that one in ten people admit to having a secret credit card. A spouse’s spending has also played a huge role in their divorce. Also, the British price, as reported by Huffpost Divorce, polled 1,000 men and women and discovered that thirty-six percent of those polled did not tell their spouse about their purchases or spending because they knew their spouse would have been angry or they would have disapproved. This is definitely not the first time a study has found a connection between divorce and financial disputes ("Huffpost Divorce",
The first significant cause of recent rise in the rates of divorce is that women completely change in roles. In the past, men have to earn whole money to afford the expense of family, whereas woman only do housework, hence women have no money leading to depend on husbands’ money. Because of these situations, it is too difficult for most women to separate from their husbands. Nonetheless, these situations entirely change nowadays. The equality between men and women in roles are very clear at the moment, thus women can work outside to earn money, while men share the household tasks such as cooking, cleaning, washing as well as caring for children. It can be clearly seen that women are independent from money as they can earn money by themselves to support their living cost. Accordingly, the divorce rates recently rise.
It is easy to understand why finances continue to be the leading cause of divorce, especially when many couples tend to overlook the practical aspects of marriage before combining everything as marital property.
The debate on whether to get married or stay single has been raging for a long while, with both sides of the coin having their own pros and cons regarding the matter. Many proponents of either marriage or single life have strong individual convictions, and it is difficult to reach a definitive, objective conclusion. Is the married individual happier than his/her single counterpart, or is getting married just a comfort seeking ritual that people believe they have to fulfill at some point in their lives? It is necessary to dissect this issue in the light of four factors: health and other medical factors, the economic and financial factors, mental and emotional wellbeing and lastly, the social factors. According to Webster’s dictionary, the definition of Married is “the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law”.
...money now or save it for the future. Additionally, many couples have not talked about their financial situation before getting married and do not often consider talking about the role money plays in their relationship and life (Lee, 2013). As a result, couples discover these things after getting married and realize that they won’t be happy and successful having financial troubles. This is when couples decide to divorce. Furthermore, some couples do not like to act as a couple and prefer to spend their money separately (Lee, 2013). They do not like to help each other when it comes to finances. This situation often leads to divorce, because couples are not able to achieve their future goals, since they are hiding their money businesses from each other (Lee, 2013). Hence, these financial problems tend to cause problems between couples and eventually lead to divorce.
Another example is that money does not bring love, love is an emotion same as happiness which your partner would bring happiness by caring you. “According the findings of Professors Hugo Mialon and Andrew Francis, over 3000 individuals was that those couples that opted for the higher-cost weddings were 1.6 times more likely to divorce then those who paid under $10,000 for their weddings.”