“The end always leads to a new beginning” others said, but I thought otherwise. Believe, trust, love and companionship were just empty words to me; they had no definite meaning. Looking around, all I saw was betrayal, anxiety, misery and hatred; the opposite of what I should have seen. How could a young girl think in such a pitiful way? I remember in middle school, I had the habit of looking at my reflection and thinking about the things I was not capable of doing.
I got out the drug game, got a real job, and stopped dealing with weed all together I do not even smoke it anymore. I lost the one person I loved the most over something that was not even worth it. So I had to cut all ties with almost everything that reminded me of her. I am still friends with Deshawn, Arthur, Sam, and Rio but I do not really talk to them like that. A very, very long story short I lost all that I loved from the things that I thought I loved; from things that were not really important from the beginning and definitely did not matter in the end.
I enrolled myself without counseling in Spanish 2, calculus 1, and freshman composition and I struggled the entire way, my pride just would not let me admit that I needed help. So I lied to myself, I told myself that it would get better or maybe just go away. It did not and after failing my final exams I would be faced with the damage I had done to my, academic career. In my second semester I went on a road to clean up the damag... ... middle of paper ... ...nding. I have an opportunity that most kids would never even dream of by being able to say that I am in the process of obtaining a college degree from Howard University.
I have never really been attached to anything and only saw myself as a waste of space so one day I decided to put an end to my mundane existence. I have never truly liked myself, never been proud of anything I’ve done. I don’t even remember much of my childhood,but I can recall is feeling extremely hollow. I remember that some of my fellow peers in elementary used to call me a demon or
As a writer, I think that I am not as good as I thought I was back in high school. I see myself as a student who tries their best, but makes “B” average work. I have never really taken the time to relate to my papers. I always just wrote what the teacher wanted and handed it in. In my mind, I never really liked trying to explain in full detail what something meant.
I had allowed my very own insecurities and the words of someone else to keep me from fulfilling my dreams and from experiencing the possibilities that were ahead of me. I had shut down all of my plans without even giving them a shot! Soon after making this realization, I decided to recommit myself. I asked myself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” I definitely did not have the money or the grades at the time, but I refused to give up on myself. If things didn’t turn out how I wanted them to, at least, I could say that I never gave up on myself.
No Child Behind Act: The history and continued debate of its effectiveness As I filled in scantron form with my number two pencil, I remembered that writing my name was just as important as entering my school code. Thinking back to elementary school I can remember the week long exams. The week in which I longed to be sick just so I wouldn’t have to be spilt from my class and spaced out to test rigorously on my comprehension of various subjects. This describes my first encounter with the ineffectiveness of standardized testing. Teachers were extremely stressed during this period as well but at the time I didn’t understand why.
I managed to reply, “nowhere,” and promptly departed. What was I to make of my situation? I no longer had a parent to call who I could report to, and who would undeniably find a way to address my sorrow in a comforting manner. Both had been removed from my life in a matter of seconds... a minute earlier, I was experiencing the “joy” of superfluous consumption and bland social interaction, which I may have still been participating in had I ignored the phone call like I almost did. But I answered it, and my life quickly yet permanently changed; I was unsure of how to react.
Most importantly, I know that whatever the prompt is, it won’t necessarily alter their lives in a drastic way. If given an academic writing prompt, I am always stumped because these topics are not ones that I can speak with much conviction about. I could never get emotional and have a life changing epiphany about why Hamlet is mad or not. That’s just not a part of what I believe I am made to do. I have always been bad at writing in school and don’t plan on being the next great writer any time soon.
I eventually started putting my academic priorities over my friends when they came back to visit; as cold as it may sound, I had to get the feeling of work off my chest in order to be truly relaxed. As I have heavily implied, I wasn’t a great student in high school. Seeing grades get passed back I was always prepared for either a failing or barely passing grade, and I was usually right. This led to me becoming paranoid and very pessimistic. I would begin to doubt my aca... ... middle of paper ... ...dn’t accomplish much of anything in high school I finally woke up by realizing I couldn’t mess up on my last chance at redemption.