Unresolved Family-Of-Origin Theory

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Unresolved family-of-origin issues can affect the current lives and relationships of individuals without their conscious awareness (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2013, p. 182). One task of a mental health counselor is to help his or her client discover these hidden unresolved conflicts in the context of the client’s family history (p. 186). If the counselor has not gained a sufficient understanding of his or her own unresolved conflicts, he or she might be unable to deal effectively with moments of countertransference (p. 174). Clark (cited in Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2013) found that “emotional self-awareness and attunement with others” contributed to a counselor’s resilience, positive outlook, and ability to avoid professional burnout (p. 11). To achieve this goal of self-awareness, my journey to become a counselor includes the tasks of understanding and healing my own unresolved family-of-origin conflicts, so that I can be fully present with my clients, and able to deal effectively with countertransference when it comes up. This paper combines concepts from various family-of-origin theories to help me explore my emotionally distant relationship with my older sister, Patty. Description of the Relationship Problem …show more content…

My relationship with Patty is the most problematic for me, because we are almost estranged. We live far away from each other, have very little contact, and the little correspondence we do share is impersonal and brief. McGoldrick (1995) said, “If you are estranged from your family, there remains deep within you a buried part of your spirit. Your ghosts can haunt you: voices in your head, sounding out with disapproval, threats of further abandonment, and loss of your self.” (p.

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