Reflection Paper On Physical Development

1168 Words3 Pages

Physical Development I was a fifteen year old freshman in high school and I felt fat and chubby. As my body changed it was hard for my mind to catch up. Walking through the student lounge struck fear deep down in the pit of my stomach. I felt as if all the eyes were on me and they were judging how I looked, what I wore, how my hair was cut, I had the “on stage” feeling. It wasn’t long before I started watching how much I ate and how much I exercised. Scrutinizing over every bite of food that went in my mouth was my routine. Limiting my food intake and the extra physical activity I was doing could have been considered Anorexia nervosa, and thinking this way carried over into my adulthood. …show more content…

My world was very small. I was the child of a single parent and momma often worked two jobs to make ends meet. We lived in front of a woman and her husband in a small rock house. When my grandparents passed away about the time I had turned seven, I can remember going to their house and asking if they could be my grandma and grandpa, they were my extended family. My mother, and my extended family (grandma, grandpa) were my microsystem. Living out in the country and not having access to other children to play with. I was always around older people, mostly women, they were my mesosystem. I learned how to work hard and developed a large portion of my personality from my mother and grandma. In school I was painfully shy and kept to myself. I did not hang out with anyone because I just didn’t fit in. I didn’t have the fifteen year old mentality that I should have had. Everything around my house was about work, work and more work. There was no time for fun at all, and if I had fun I felt guilty. I had no idea about who I was or what I would grow up to be. No one had ever talked to me about going to college. I thought I would grow up to get married and have kids and work a so, so job the way my mom had done for all those years. As I look back on my childhood, I now realize that there were many things that shaped who I am physically and mentally. Reading over the bioecological model helps me to see that …show more content…

They would make fun of my wide hips and say sexual things to me. I didn’t understand what half of what they were talking about meant. At a time when I should have been figuring out who I am. The boys in high school decided who I was. I should have had my own ideas about who I was (self –concept), but instead I had identity diffusion. I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted from life. School didn’t seem to be that important to me, it was just something to get through and be done with. I didn’t feel that I had what it took to make good grades. Martin Brunner had the idea that children with a good self-concept did better in school. If I had, had a better self- concept about myself, then maybe it would have been different. I could have excelled in school, went on to college, and had a great career and wonderful self- esteem instead of getting married right out of high school, and my life would be much different now. I let someone else define who I was and were I was heading. By listening to all the boys in school who were typical high school kids with one thing on their minds. I believed that this must be who I am, the girl every boy wanted to make fun of and tease, poor white trash. His name was Kevin and he gave me the attention I longed for, and my identity as a young girl started. I was a sexual being at the tender age of hair spray and

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