Positive Parenting

Positive Parenting: Make Mornings Good - Get your Kids Involved

What does a typical morning look like at your home? Is everybody scurrying around to find lost items? Are you constantly yelling, "Hurry up and finish your cereal." "Get upstairs and brush your teeth." "Hurry up you're gonna miss the bus."?

Then the final threat, after the bus has gone. "I'm leaving now with or without YOU!"

Isn't this a horrible way to do morning?

The answer to stress-free mornings is so simple, it's easy to overlook. Get your kids involved!

The Family Conference

One school of thought says to announce your resignation as their drill sergeant. Tell your kids it's time they take responsibility for getting themselves out of bed, dressed, fed and out the door.

Allegedly, this method lets you take your power back.

Question: and how is that working for you?

We would never interfere with these "experts" in parental problems. We would suggest this parenting method sounds strangely like the first cousin of throw-kid-into-deep-end-to-sink-or-swim.

Instead, how about getting the family together, at the kitchen table for a heart-to-heart talk? Let your children know there is a family problem and you want their suggestions about solving it.

Say something like: "You know our mornings are terribly stressful. I'm open to new ideas to make mornings good."

Make a list of ideas and discuss how to make them happen. You may be surprised at how motivated your little morning monsters will become when it's their idea.

There is more to discuss. However, if your children are getting antsy, conclude the meeting and schedule another one. By getting them involved, your kids will claim ownership for the solutions and quit being the problem.

Morning Time Management Starts the Night Before

The next agenda item is evening time management. Explain to your kids that together you will create a routine to prevent bad mornings, starting with the night

Breakfast is also a valuable, teachable moment. Tell your kids why it is necessary to break-the-fast. Not only do they need vital energy, their developing brain cells need nutrients to function in school.

Prompt and Praise

Until your children establish this new habit pattern, you may need to prompt your kiddos with questions like: "What is the next to-do on your morning management list?"

Also, never miss an opportunity to praise them: "You did a great job brushing your teeth!" "I'm proud of you for getting your tasks done on time!"

Rewards or Consequences

If you're inclined, add a line to your chart for rewards or consequences. For example, use gold stars for rewards and a red X consequences. Decide how many stars it takes to claim a reward, such as alone time with daddy or mommy or a trip to the aquarium.

As for consequences, have each X represent an extra chore, such as folding clothes, sweeping the garage, etc. Once the consequence has been fulfilled, they can line through the X.

Note: Don't withhold food as a consequence. Don't offer food as a reward. This could contribute to dysfunctional eating practices later on in