Personal Narrative: Why I Hate Me

I am an introvert. I love hanging out with my friends and talking to them, but being alone, reading a book, in the comfort of my own house is more appealing. In all honesty, people scare me, especially adults. I can never figure out what they are thinking, especially about me, and that worries me. I have recently discovered that I am a people pleaser. Now, I do not want people to love me, but I do not want to give people a reason to dislike me either. So, I stay quiet, keep my ideas to myself in the fear of offending others, be as nice as possible as to not cause stress on the fact that I may have made someone upset, and help people to the best of my ability. Do not get me wrong, I am not doing this just so people will not hate me (not using

All others see is the quiet, nice girl who likes to read. I long to be more than that; I want to not be afraid of or anxious about what people see me as. People do not know that I am sarcastic, puns are what I live for, notwithstanding I am observant, open-minded, serious and upfront when it is most important. Being able to express and talk about myself is the biggest flaw. I can get so heated about a topic, but no one will ever know because I am too afraid to say anything. I prefer to stay in the background, behind the scenes, but that does not mean I do not want to do my part. I feel as though I stay in the background, as to not bother others, to the point that I have made myself quiet and nonexistent. Any social event, even when I know my friends will be present, I at first shy away, the thought of social interaction daunting. I can be brave at times, and push myself, but not as often as I should. I am big on social equality, whether it be LGBT+ rights or feminism or politics, but no one would ever know, and that needs to change. Accordingly, my opinions and thoughts must be shared, and I need to be more direct. I do not have to lose the reserved side who loves to be alone, but understanding that social interaction and warmth are just as