Screaming, crying, hyperventilating. These are only some of the emotions that come over me when I talk to my mother. I always seem to mess up, or not live up to her insane expectations. Growing up I was a good student. I had superb grades and was a proficient learner. Throughout elementary school, my mom was always proud. She would praise me, and make me feel good. This inspired me to go for my dream of getting a doctorate in physical therapy, and eventually open up my own practice. Middle school, I struggled. I went through many personal devastations, including losing my grandma and dog passing away, all of which caused me to slip into a dark place of depression and sadness. On top of all this, every time my mom would ask me about school, grades, or even just normal everyday things families talk about, she would get angry with me and make me feel like I was not important enough to her. My grades started to drop, I stopped trying, and I was unmotivated, putting me in this spot of insecurity and doubt about myself. …show more content…
The middle school I attended was not great at preparing students for the world let alone high school, instead, they focused more on how to deal with people that had disabilities, or learning problems more than their academics. I appreciate that I have this skill and am able to use it in my life, but I do wish that the academics were taken a bit more seriously. Oak Park is a rigorous school, and going from an “easy” school to Oak Park was a tough transition. My freshman year ended, and I was not proud of myself like I wish I was. This is when she really lost it. She yelled at me, told me I would never go to college, and just downright told me I was a disappointment. This took a toll on me, and I felt like I was worthless and had no future ahead of
I dont really know what im doing, seems like i never have. From being in grade school and not knowing why God put me here to being in high school and still wondering the same thing. You said you wanted something interesting, yet not sad, but those two things are like best friends.
As the breeze of potent smelly feet brushed my nose, I had remembered where I was. The luminous screen of my phone had absorbed me, as I was patiently waiting for my Second Mom, and her two 5 year old twins to arrive at Urban Air. Amanda became my Second Mom 4 years ago, due to her care for me just as she was my biological Mother. Finally, as what seemed to be decades, I noticed my family approaching me. Not knowing documents with vivid emergency questions had to be signed, it took another large amount of unnecessary time. We purchased the one hour tickets and received these neon green wristbands, being placed around our petite wrists. They were color coded to let the employee’s know our time is up and mandatory that we exit.
My mother moved to Virginia and I struggled with true feelings of loneliness and despair after my parents separated. According to a 2010 family journal, "Of all familial relationships, the mother–daughter one is most likely to remain important for both parties, even when major life changes occur, such as the daughter’s marriage or mother’s illness." I lacked the guidance and support of that I needed from my mother after she moved away. My siblings and I spent time with my Mother once a week on Thursday evenings. She would often arrive late and carelessly, which I took very personally. I didn 't feel that my Mother possessed strong credibility and found it difficult to believe her. Therefore, I became hesitant in following my Mother 's advice or listening to her requests. My mother attempted to gain back power by using coercive power. If I failed accept her influence she threatened a punishment, but if I listened there was a reward. For example, if she felt I was being ungrateful she would threaten to send me back home to my Father. My mother 's use of coercive power fostered a lack of trust and created a substantial amount of tension between my mother and
One thing that really bothers me is how much I changed. I used to play games all day, not focus on school, wouldn't get in serious trouble, and was very innocent compared to my present day self. There are cons and pros of my past self compared to how I am currently. I am more happy of how I am now then I am before. As time changes, so do I and I can not stop that. What’s done has already been done and can’t be changed so you always have to look towards the future and never the past. The past will not definite who you are today unless you let it. I would have never expect that I would be transferred to a continuation high school in my freshman year. It is a bad thing to many people, but I am thankful that I am sent to it because I will learn
What makes person a hero? Is it fighting for your country in war, rescuing a “damsel in distress,” or being the one to discover cancer? All of that is heroic, but being a hero can mean many things and be the simplest things. To me, it is being brave and strong when all seems doomed. It is sacrificing things for the better of someone else. It is the smallest act of kindness that was not expected. My mother, Susan Marie McCartney, is my hero.
It was extraordinary, indescribable, breathtaking. I looked out of the window next to me, and before my eyes was the view of a clear, blue sky, covered in sheets of snowy, white clouds. Slowly we began descending through them, revealing the expanse of blue water, stretching in every direction of the horizon. In the far right I could see a glimpse of main land, but not just any land, India. It was there and then, that I knew my life would be changed forever.
She used to always help me with my schoolwork and help me study for tests. Once she was gone, I had nobody to help me with this because my parents were always busy. Whenever I had questions on a certain topic of schoolwork, I just had to try and figure it out for myself which did not always work. This often led to me not understanding questions on a lot of homework, and getting a lot of questions wrong on tests. I started getting worse grades on tests, quizzes, and homework than before. Not only this, but I got worse grades on exams as well. This caused my semester grades to go down. Due to my sister leaving and me having to lean on myself for schoolwork help, my grades started going down, negatively impacting my
Some people, some great people deserve to live forever, or at least die in a worthy or in a fulfilling way. I just got the short end of the bargain, I just got one of the worst things on this earth, cancer. Anyone can get the disease, but the way I see it, it seems unfair and unruly that pure souls could end up with a painful and undeserving demise. Unfortunately, I was one of those pure souls.
It was the worst it had ever been in an extremely long time. She told me she did not care if I leave, I should run away and in 24 hours she will just file a missing person's report. She told me that I am nothing and I will never be anything along with some other non-school-appropriate words. She then left to pick my brother up. I was shocked hurt and livid. I planned to kill myself. I was frustrated with the situation, but before I could do it I must take a shower. So I took a shower then looked at myself for what felt like an eternity in the mirror. I walked over and sat on the bed took a razor I got out of a sharpener and began to cut with a purpose on the vein right under my wrist. The cuts were deep but not deep enough and I felt the vein move under my skin desperately trying to escape my vicious assault. When I do puncture it it puffs up which is common. I try and I try and I damn myself because the razor is not big enough. I began to lash out at myself for not buying new razors but why would I? I was done cutting and playing this suicide game. Finally, I am just so tired, I lay down and sleep. The next day I woke up and went to school speaking to no one about the incident, because I knew it would be a pointless endeavor. I would be thrown away checked off of a list like others before
When I was in the 6th grade, my mother got into an awful relationship
Ever since I can remember I always wanted to be like my mother. She’s confident, strong, funny, and an all around great person. Due to her influence, and the fact that she was such a role model in my life, I was given the nickname “Little Janice”. Not only for the simple fact we look like each other but, because I have adapted her personality and mannerisms. I always loved and admired the fact that she was a teacher, and I always thought it was the coolest job to have because that is what my mom does. Growing up I secretly always knew that I was going to become a teacher because of that notion. Here I am at nineteen years old studying special education. The same thing goes with my dad. My dad comes from an extremely athletic family, and I wanted to be apart of that too. He pushed me to be the best athlete that I could be, he gave me advice on how to be better, he would spend hours outside with me practicing on whatever sport was in season at the time. Due to that I had opportunities to play soccer in college. When my dad was teaching me about the world of sports it was our special time. We would have to drive hours to soccer games on Sundays and to practices three times a week and during that time in the car is really
Growing up, and even looking back on those times, I am pretty sure my mom's only goal was to humiliate me. She claims that she didn't try to, but in my heart I know better. My mom always has embarrassed me, and even whips
Dealing with depression is not something new to me this time around as I had experienced it with great force when my mother suddenly died from a car accident in 2010. I share a special relationship with my mother because throughout my life, she has sacrificed so much for my siblings and I. Growing up I saw how hard my mother worked in order to provide for our family which made me appreciate her so much more when I became a father because parenthood isn’t easy. The death of my mother had a huge impact on me that affected my psychological health, and it would have pushed me to the brink had it not been for Mei Lan’s care and presence. She is the only person able to comfort me.
I went to school with bruises and marks all over me. I tried to hide the pain I was feeling inside and out by wearing clothing to cover the physical and by faking it didn’t hurt on the inside. I told my best friends what was going on even though they already knew bits and pieces. My teacher saw the marks and told my counselor. My counselor promised not to tell my mom that I told her what was going on. We had a few more fights until this big one on December 27th. I used to always blame myself because I wanted to love her and I wanted to make myself feel she was a good person. I wanted to make her be the person I remembered her being when I was small but I had to learn the hard way that it was never my
My father told me that my mother had a hard life and had to take care both of her sibling after her mother was incapable being she came through her own divorce. I also learn that my mother doesn’t really communicate with her siblings because they don 't get along over simple little things and these disagreement can last for a whole decade. Before I left her, I told her that if I had kids, I wouldn 't teach my kids the same way as you did to me. My life has transformed form to a better adult with a greater maturity of sensitive subjects, taking responsibility over issues, wanting stability in my daily life, enjoying a committed relationship, and a comforting home