At the time, I was not allowing it to be done, profusely denying him the right to be involved in his child’s life. My feelings toward him were extremely bitter and they showed no respect for him. Also, I loved my mother too much to be away from her and that one-year of separation from my father drastically changed my thoughts toward him. When he finally showed his face to me all I saw was a stranger. Was I being selfish?
People change. Brad has always been sorta an achoholic but he began to get worse. His kids had gotten too used to my brother and I and started treating us badly and not welcoming us into their family anymore. Things were shifting fast to me but my mom didnt see it. I would tell her but she still wasnt aware of it.
My step-mom eventually went crazy, which led to my dad getting a divorce. If I had gone to live with my dad, I would have been sucked up in that gigantic mess. My mom and dad get along now. It is a rare occurrence when they are both not at one of my sporting events, both cheering me on together. It is hard to imagine how different my life would have been, if I had told the judge I wanted to live with my dad.
Most of my childhood was spent observing the behaviour of my mother and father. I was told that my parent’s relationship came to an end as my father couldn’t cope with the constant arguments over the lack of money. My mother told me that my father left and no one had heard of him again. She told me that it was probably that best decision the he had made during their married life. I later learnt the truth.
The marriage had ended and my dad blames his father for the way he destroyed their family. My dad grew up without a mother and with a little to no father figure. This is the beginning of my argument, my dad had issues with his father that negatively impacted him and in turn set forth, a set of lacking fathering abilities, thus in turn also making my dad also a piece of
The words and fights that followed tore me apart. I went from being near perfect in my fathers eyes to being a "spoiled, selfish brat" whom supposedly only cared about myself. I could not believe those words were coming out of my dad's mouth. Things got so bad that I did everything I could to stay away from home for as long as I could. I even tried to move out.
I was always thinking that parents’ impatience would hurt my brother’s heart and even ruin his self-esteem. However, I never realized what happened to my parents would happen to me until I stayed with my brother alone and he was mischievous to me. Or sometimes his reaction to a certain situation conflicted with my expectation. Therefore, I couldn’t repress my anger with my brother and lost my patience like my parents. What was worse, I never imagine I would shout at him and even hit him for two times.
That was the beginning. Along the way I made poor financial, academic, professional and personal decisions. It gave my family enough ammunition to never let me break out of the pattern that they had me in. It is an almost textbook example of an abusive family. Individually, each member of my family told me that my father had treated me the worst of any of the kids growing up, but no one ever stood up for me while the entire family was present.
But I honestly have been disappointed and mad at him for several years for all the stuff he did to hurt my family. But now I 'm trying to forgive and forget, which would be the Christian thing to do. So now me and him on good terms and I just pray that hopefully we can stay like that. And he may not be the best dad ever. But atleast he was there some times and he still taught me to never do what he ever did.