I keep other people at a distance, both physically and emotionally and thus limit my interactions with other people in all facets of my life. This has shaped my communication style as well as my personality or as the textbook defines it as “An individual 's characteristic way of thinking, feeling, and acting based on the traits he or she possesses.” (McCornack pg.90) This social anxiety colors my ideas about myself as well as my perception of others, which is the (p. 75) “The process of selecting, organizing, and interpreting information from our senses,” (McCornack pg.75) This leads to Self Fulfilling prophecies concerning judgements I make about people, or “Predictions about future encounters that lead us to behave in ways that ensure the interaction unfolds as we predicted.” (McCornack pg.41) which in turn fuels misunderstandings and greater social anxiety.
We all have a version of ourselves which we show to the world, this face that we show society or as our textbook defines it “The self we allow others to see and know; the aspects of ourselves we choose to present publicly.” (McCornack pg. 52) This social construct allows us to function and communicate with other people comfortably without much self-disclosure, which
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Proxemics are “nonverbal code for communication through physical distance.” (McCornack pg. 225) For as long as I can remember I have not wanted people to touch me or to invade my space. It wasn’t until this semester that I realised there was a word for some of my behavior, which I now realize keeps people literally at a distance from me using nonverbal methods. Territoriality is the method I use most in keeping people away from me which is “the tendency to claim personal spaces as our own and define certain locations as areas we don 't want others to invade without permission, such as spreading personal stuff to claim the entire library table.” (McCornack pg.
On the other hand, ideally one should be true to one’s heart, if Disney’s Mulan is to be believed. But these are neither solid pieces of advice nor wise counsel; they are at best hand-wavy, wishy-washy statements that offer no guidance on traveling the minefield that is remaining true to oneself. In fact, given the wide swath of human experiences, it is difficult to imagine a panacea effective for each and every trial and tribulation people may encounter in maintaining the integrity of their identities; personally, I don't think one exists. Just as there are myriad events, emotions, and memories from which one’s identity develops, it surely follows that there are just as many ways social norms act to compromise one’s individuality, ostensibly for the worse. Therefore, it seems that an indirect solution would best serve individuals filled and bombarded with doubt about who they really are; namely, the unwavering support of a community would allow individuals to resolve, on their own terms, their inner conflicts stemming from outward
Firstly, Self-disclosure is a process of communication in which an individual reveals information about themselves to someone else. The information may be descriptive or evaluative, which may include thoughts, feelings, aspirations,
...le knowing their identity, so that they do not have to face the judgments of others. "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person! Give him a mask and he'll tell you the truth!" (Velvet Goldmine).
For instance, while displaying one’s identity through gregarious media sanctions the utilization of different media than traditionally used such as status updates, photos, and videos to construct identity, the media does not always accurately portray our true selves. By posting specific photos and comments, individual's highlight certain characteristics of themselves while also omitting or hiding other facts and characteristics. In an example, if a college student posts only pictures of themselves attending bars and parties while also posting comments on friends’ walls about such activities, they will highlight their “identity” of partying and debauchery. Conversely, they would be debasing all other aspects of their lives that comprise their identities, such as schoolwork, family, and personal relationships. This use of social media can create a false identity, portraying a “person” to the outside world who may not truly exist or may be more complex than the “person” one portrays through their social media sites. This is how, as Roberts suggests, one ultimately creates an “empty identity
In general, my sister and I are both loud goofballs who make jokes out of everything and find the simplest things to entertain us when we are with each other. When we are together, we are both able to have a deeper sense of our “coherent identity” and do not have to wear a mask for each other because we are not trying to seek approval from each other. However, even though we know who we are, we still have to wear a mask when we leave our house because we do not want others to know who we really are. For example, when we are around our parent’s friends, we always have to put on a smile and talk very soft and polite, even though we are having a bad day and in general are loud people because we cannot make our parents look bad or give off the impression that my sister and I were not raised correctly by our parents. Another example would be the different masks that I have when I’m in class and when I’m not in class. While in class, I am quite and do not participate in talking because growing up I was told by my elders that it was always better to listen to what others had to say in order to gain knowledge and insight instead of talking and that I should only speak up when I was confused.On the other hand, when I am outside of the classroom, I become this whole different person and start to talk more. I feel that I have gotten use to being quiet in the classroom and conformed to putting on my mask everyday that it is hard for me to not wear the mask in class because if I do not wear it, I feel that I am loosing a part of who I am. All in all, this shows how when we are not seeking approval, we are able to take off our masks and our “self-presentations [becomes] much different in character” (Gergen
In the article “In Defense of Masks” by Kenneth Gergen, he claims that instead of developing “a coherent sense of identity”, people put on different “masks” that he constantly changes. Gergen believes that an individual’s development of a coherent sense of identity can make him “experience severe emotional distress”. People tend to act a certain way so they can receive the approval of others. The approval of others can bring satisfaction and enhance the self-esteem of a person but to succeed in this he must adopt different public identities. Moreover, in some cases individuals consciously wear various masks because of the situation they’re found in.
Have you ever heard, “You only have one chance to make a first impression?” Now, whether you choose to be yourself or you choose to be who you thought someone wanted you to be, a conscientious decision was made. Presenting who we would like others to believe we are is self-presentation (Gilovich, Keltner, & Nisbett, 2011). Now answer another question for me, under the correct circumstances, do you think that everyone has the ability to lie about information or details about themselves?
In every society nonverbal communication is one of the most powerful tools that a person can use to interpret the message that is being delivered. Even though verbal communication is fairly straightforward, nonverbal communication allows others to sense the true emotions of the person that is expressing them. For example even though a person may say that they are not irritated, their usage of voice may display otherwise. Nonverbal communication not only reveals hidden messages, but it also complements, substitutes, and exaggerates verbal communication.
We can choose to reveal or conceal who we are or what we want to be. We can share our innerness, the emotions derived deep within our souls and the force that creates havoc and the actions we choose to do. We can share the journeys that we have taken whether it is the right or wrong route to create a better place, a better awareness for others who have not encountered that journey yet. The self we share is dependent on the personality we have, introverted or extroverted. The trust we put forth in others is a reflection of how much of ourselves we willingly share. The self we share could include our mind, body, or soul but what does that really mean... it is all dependent on what the receiving end feels. We are who we are, what self we share and do not is all a reflection of who we are and our thinking
There are entire books that echo the idea that people need to mask their true self in order to be desired by other humans. Sally Planalp, author of Communicating Emotion: Social, Moral, and Cultural Processes, says “Managing feelings for the sake of presenting oneself in a particular light or for the sake of the occasion is a well-known fact of social life” (72.) Over and over by researchers and even by peers it is either directly told to us, or indirectly communicated, that vulnerability should not be a part of day to day life. This idea has been around for decades, as seen by author Dale Carnegie in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People, which was originally published in 1936. His book gives practical ways for “everyone to like you,” but the biggest flaw found in his work is that when boiled down, it is a handbook that teaches humans to only interact in positive ways and never show true emotions, especially if they are uncomfortable or difficult to share (Carnegie).
The first notable problem arises from differences in the use space and touch. In terms of proxemics, which is the study of how people use personal space differently (Hall,1966), each culture has its preferred concept and use of personal space. When it comes to touch, cultures can vary in the amount of touching and the meanings of
How we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us. Throughout the interview I knew that the way I interacted within the group would determine whether or not I would be able to study as a student nurse. Subsequently, I wanted to appear socially desirable. Therefore, I believe there was a distortion of self-image because the interview was very important to me. Using Goffman 's theory of self (1959), the 'social mask ' I put on during the interview, could be seen as 'performance ', '...the term ‘performance’ refers to all activity of an individual in front of a particular set of observers, or audience... ' , I wasn 't my: bubbly, hyper self, I felt I had to keep this hidden as I was in a professional environment. Therefore, Johari 's window demonstrates mundane realism, because my self-image did change. My bubbly, hyper personality which is usually 'open/public ' was now 'Hidden/private '. However, Johari 's window see 's self-awareness constructed by the individual alone, which makes the theory over –simplified and not interactionist as it only considers 'nurture ' factors impacting on an individual’s self-awareness, when in reality it’s a combination of biological/genetic and social factors (nature nurture). Therefore the theory is reductionist as it over simplifies human behaviour. Although Johari 's window doesn 't give a holistic reflection for my own self-awareness and communication, the fact I can identify this as a result of using Gibb’s model means that I have a rounded analysis of my interviewing
It seems that everyday we are confronted with some kind of situation that we feel leaves us with some form of embarrassment, or we play out how embarrassing an imagined moment will be for us in a public setting. Carey B. (2003). It’s not all about you. Los Angeles Times. Article focuses on this trait that most of us exhibit. The article focus on how we believe people perceive us when we do things in which we believe draws attention, and how we believe that all eyes are always on us, the spotlight effect. The degree to which this effect plays a level in shaping our self esteem, and our self schemas is not directly addressed in this article, but it is what is brought to mind while reading it.
Lots of people thinks that they know themselves very well; they have a right way of communication, they know how to listen and respond to others, even emotional intelligence. Is this what you thought? I did. However after I have done my observe behavior interview to my friends, I believe that self-reflection is important to everyone to understand and improve our own communication styles.
There is some debate about whether or not people are truly displaying themselves or If they are displaying their ideal selves meaning they display who they think they should be or who they think society wants them to be rather than who they truly are. Claims have been made that when people change their characteristics on social media in order to show their ideal selves they do this in order to impress those around them as well as to be seen in a more positive and flattering