Nate's Suicide Case Study

In the previous vignette I described Nate, an 18 year old boy who experienced dissonance between performative masculinity (Butler, J. 1990) and expressing grief. In this paper I will be analyzing the family system of Nate using Family Systems Theory (FST) and FST concepts. The FST concepts I will be using are messages, roles, and patterns of interaction. When Nate was 16 his father committed suicide, I will describe Nate’s family system prior to his death and the shift in it after.
John relayed clear messages to Nate that were used to control Nate’s behavior. Although John died, these messages were perpetuated. The biggest message Nate received from his father was that emotions were weak and unacceptable. Accompanying this message was another

Between them, Nate was the hero, The Good Child, that both parents treasured and held to a high standard. These roles are interrelated and interact with one another (Boss, P., 1993). John provides an ideal masculine figure for Nate, he is someone Nate idolized while growing up. When John sends the message that feelings and emotions are not for men, Lily, unknowingly, reinforces this by presenting herself as the emotional (often misconstrued by John and therefore Nate as hysterical) motherly caretaker. After John’s death Lily still claims the role of caretaker but is also much more emotionally distressed, leaving Nate to assume a role as a caretaker as well as the hero. Because Nate is so self-reliant due to John’s messages, Lily relies on him as well for emotional support.
These roles are a facet of the patterns of interaction within this family system (Boss, P., 1993). John serves as an archetype for masculinity to Nate, and because Lily is so emotional she is viewed as a typical woman. John and Lily would get into fights often, and Nate often woul witnesses these fights. Seeing John act austere and dispassionate while Lily would be agitated confirmed these stereotypical gender roles for Nate. Of course, these fights had an impact on Nate as well and often prompted the physical fights between him and John. This was a predictable and repetitive pattern

Although not all families operate with such dysfunction, all families experience their own unique tumultuous issues. John taught Nate a rigid idea of what masculinity was and that all men had to perform it. This bred shame surrounding having or expressing emotions. While this idea is already toxic, it became a pressing issue for Nate after John died. Not only did Nate suppress his feelings and hinder his grieving process but exacerbated his depression. While Nate struggled to suppress his emotions in order to appear masculine, this was an issue John grappled with for