Narrative Essay On Wintergirls

733 Words2 Pages

“‘Dead girl walking’ the boys say in the hall. ‘Tell us your secrets’ the girls whisper, one toilet to another.‘ I am that girl. I am the space between my thighs, daylight shining through, ... I am the bones they want, wired on a porcelain frame.’" (Lea, Wintergirls, pg. 19) When I read Wintergirls instantly it, brought up memories; memories I thought I had long since buried inside along with the deep sense of inadequacy. Even after seven years of recovery a silly book can trudge up thoughts and desires to let your monsters drag you back into that dark world. I met Jessica in late spring of 2006. She had flawless peaches n' cream skin that people killed for and her hair was the colour of a pumpkin cookie, but what I noticed most was her dancer’s thin body. She was so unique I instantly began to critique myself under my breath "fat thighs, flabby arms, and a pudgy stomach" I took a deep breath reminded myself that I would not break and marched over to her and my other friends. Right away we became friends, we had so much in common from the music we liked to both at the time being vegetarians. It would be a few months before we realized that the biggest …show more content…

Like Cassie in the book I regularly purged, Cassie died, her esophagus ruptured during her last purge. Two years had passed since I started purging what little I decided to eat and like Cassie it had started to take a toll on my esophagus. One day after a stressful class and a fight with friends I raced into the mint green bathrooms of my school I was determined to get control back; I did a quick check to ensure stalls we empty before falling on my knees in front of what I thought was my saviour. I plunged my fingers to the back of my throat before I felt the familiar release, but instead of the normal food that came up the water in the bowl was stained red. For the first time I realized I was no longer in control, Instead of perfecting myself, I was scarred and if I didn't stop I too, would be

Open Document