My, My Best Friend

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There is always a clear before and after moment in every person’s life. For some, it could be something as simple as getting their braces off and gaining self-esteem they never thought they had. For others, it could be having a child and finding a higher purpose in life through that child. Regardless of the event, there is usually something that changes a person forever—for better or worse. A lot of these events seem to revolve around God or spirituality or someone finding a path to God. Personally, I have never found a path to God and don’t know whether or not I ever will. I consider myself an atheist, but in the summer of 2013, an event occurred that shook me to my core and made me at least a more spiritual individual. That summer, on July 23rd, 2013, I lost my best friend in a car crash and the clear before and after in my life was born.
Before my best friend, Brianna, died, I was a much different person than I am today. My upbringing had molded me into a cold, emotionless person. It’s not that I had negligent parents, or an especially traumatic childhood, but the exact concoction of bad things had happened in my life to make me a very negative person. On a car ride on the way to school in the fourth grade, the first worst thing to ever happen to me occurred. My mother slowed our green 1999 Chevrolet Prizm and turned off our local pop radio station and turned into a foreign neighborhood. After idling for several minutes, my mother finally broke the silence with the absolute worst seven words for any adolescent to hear. “Your father and I are getting divorced.” It didn’t make any sense to me. I was too young to realize that the years of arguing wasn’t standard for all families. My father had been having an affair with a woman...

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...other people. My true self was hidden by anger and confusion. Throughout my journey, I have found that I am not just one thing. I am multilayered just as God is. I am a selfless nonbeliever that wishes she could believe. I am a sister and a daughter. I see both the good and the bad in humanity. I’m confused and sinful, but also hopeful and ever-evolving as a person. I’m spiritual in my own unique way. I’m a person that is trying their best to be good just like everyone else. Bad things have happened to me since Brianna died and I’m sure many more will. However, my outlook on life has forever changed and I hope that in the future, I will continue to grow and learn and continue to be accepting of everyone. Ultimately, I really do believe that whoever or whatever created the world did a pretty good job of it. Genesis 1:31 God saw all that he made, and it was very good.

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