Lou Monologue

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Lou knows that I don't sleep soundly because he doesn't need a music box to doze off. He finds comfort in banter. I like to bury myself in poetry and riddles. Words that are spoken only to fill the void in the light of sun become grandiose by nighttime. The things we do that drain our energy during the day are glorified by the moon. He was sitting to my right at the bus stop. I figured I probably needed to join a support group for the way I was continuously let down by my tendency to fall in love with strangers on public transport, but his clammy hands and shy eyes that were blueish gray told me he wouldn't mind it if I did. He directed his attention from a chunk of gum on the floor to me and asked where I was headed. Instead of replying …show more content…

But don’t act like you don’t live inside of your head too.” I handed Lou a journal from my bag and insisted he read through it, but he didn’t because he wanted to see if our hearts could hold the permanence to whatever it is that we’ve created. The first time it rained heavily since Lou and I decided that we were alright together was the night his hug felt unfamiliar. Some anger and electric feel in the sky made me feel like I was ready to love him the way I wanted to, but I thought about his eyes and how they matched the small storm we were having. The thought of how flowers grow when storms pass made it easier for me to create a sanctuary in his arms. I never liked being hugged from behind but gently rocking side to side with Lou and having raindrops in between comfortable silences as our soundtrack provided me with the kind of warmth I’d expect from investing in an expensive heater or the coziest of sweaters. My daze is interrupted by Lou’s whisper, “Six months and I don’t get why you’re still …show more content…

The first thing he told me was how my powerful strut in high heels reminded him of Lou’s mom. Then he proceeded to make a remark regarding how out of tune Lou and I appeared. Lou hurries to reassure his dad, “You just can’t see how we are doing fine because we’re so cute together.” To which his dad questions, “How much time do you need until you realize that being fine isn’t enough?” I then ask what more there is supposed to be and nobody answers. In that moment of silence between the three of us, I remembered the joys of sleeping alone. Lou’s patience with my hesitance made me feel weightless, but faithless was all he really felt. Dating me shouldn’t be a superlative to make up for how noncommittal he is. It hits me that people can sting and be aloe at the same time. I made my way out of the kitchen to the front door as soon as I took the cake out from the oven. Lou quickly follows me and tells me that I can’t just walk out on him on his birthday. My chest felt heavy but I decided to say something anyway, “You can pretend like I’m not going anywhere. My watch is on your bedside table. Happy

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