If I Were a Seed

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I was once a strong resilient grain seed, me and my brothers would bask in the sun all day and at night we would get our much needed water. Then one day the cows got out of the barn and started heading for my brothers and I. Being attached to the stem we could do nothing as we watched our friends in the next stem get eaten alive. As we watched in horror another cow came up from behind and grasped us with its horrible tongue, we were pulled into its cavernous horrible mouth dripping with saliva. Almost instantly my brothers and I were drenched in the horrible liquid lubricating us and impregnated us with saliva. As we were masticated ruthlessly and swallowed we realized that this was a ruminant animal, with this information we came to terms with the fact that we were all going to die and be digested whereas a monogastric animal would have just passed us through basically unharmed.
As we entered the rumen for the first time many of us were lost to the microbes residing within the rumen, this was repeated time and time again shooting us back and forth through the esophagus until o...

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