I Was a Tomboy

I was a tomboy. Not a tomboy in the sense that most people think of one, but in the way that all adventurous, curious little girls are. I played kick ball at recess. I wore Bart Simpson sweatshirts. I played Indians. I went fishing. Somewhere along the way, I've lost some of that tomboy in me. It's interesting that when changes come in my life, although the change has probably been brewing for some time, there is usually one event that seems to mark that change. So when I look back, I think of the change as before and after that one event. It's no surprise, then, that I remember one distinct event which, in my mind, was the point of my return from Never-Never Land -- the event that marked my transition from my protected place, my childhood, into the cold, dark world of adolescence.

Looking back, I was probably a bossy, know-it-all kid. But in fourth grade I was known by the other kids as a ring-leader. I was the new kid, but my innovative schemes allowed me to make friends quickly. One of my first excursions was my ingenious plan to hold a sÈance at recess. I gathered the daring from the jungle gym and we ambled out to the far side of the schoolyard. I quietly called any and all spirits haunting the Madison playground to join us. With reluctance at first, which soon turned to grave enthusiasm, my classmates chimed in. To our dismay, no ghosts seemed to be around that day, but no worry, I confidently assured everyone, I was sure that the spirits would be roaming tomorrow. As in every elementary class around the globe, ours had a tattletale, and as we took our seats after recess the whole room was alive with a tension that cast a gloom on our usually cheery classroom. Someone had told. I was fearless, except...

... middle of paper ...

... girls everywhere in the world! Adolescence is a terrible time for many girls, as it was for me -- they feel pressured to enter into the world of adulthood but they stand at the crossroads, not yet wanting to leave childhood behind.

My self was split when I put on that first bra -- my rite of passage into the world of adolescence. I was torn between my carefree world of childhood, which I was fast leaving behind, and the adult world -- which I wasn't ready to enter. After I got used to my older self, I got more comfortable in my new skin -- and I believe that I've reacquired many of the traits that I somehow lost in the whirlwind of my change into adolescence. But I will still always yearn for the fourth grade -- when the world seemed to be full of things especially for me to discover, and I was blind to the barriers that sometimes hold me back today.