Hellenistic Marriages Can Be Mutually Supportive

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Hellenistic views of marriage are very different from modern views in many ways, and because of these differences, it can be easy to dismiss archaic and Athenian marriages as loveless or purely functional. However, it should be noted that there are definite examples of these marriages being mutually supportive and loving. One can see these characteristics especially well in two works, Oeconomicus by Xenophon, and Alcestis by Euripides. Although different, these two stories demonstrate both the mutual support and love that can be found in Hellenistic marriages.

In Xenophon’s Oeconomicus, Ischomachos describes his own marriage to Socrates who then relates it to Kritoboulos, and consequently to the audience as well. This marriage retains many of the same functional characteristics that are commonly seen in Hellenistic marriages, but it also exhibits some less common, but still very significant details of how the marriage is mutually supportive, especially in terms of these details of the institution of marriage in Ancient and Athenian Greece. It is evident in the way that Ischomachos describes his wife’s duties to her, that there is a definite teacher-student dimension in their relationship. However, it should be noted that Ischomacus’ intimate knowledge of his wife’s tasks allows him to do something that is not altogether common in modern society—understand the difficulty and complexities of his wife’s duties, and how important they are to the household as a whole. This knowledge and appreciation of his wife’s work is manifested in his response when she makes a mistake with the housekeeping, saying charitably, “Don’t be discouraged, woman…you aren’t at fault in this, but rather I am”(Oeconomicus, VIII,2). By this statement he recognizes the team element of the marriage, and emphasizes that not fulfilling ones duties hurts the marriage in general, in this case taking responsibility for his own actions and reassuring his wife of her good work.

Based on this understanding and appreciation of the roles that each member of the couple plays in the marriage, the marriage becomes a stronger bond, and the couple can function like a team. Indeed, Ischomachos is very generous, at least in comparison to other Greek husbands in famous drama in terms of how he shares his wealth and wisdom with his wife.

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