Deborah Tannen Oh Mom Oh Honey

Oh, Mom. Oh, Honey. : Why do you have to say that? (2006) Is an essay written by Deborah Tannen (b. 1945). Deborah Tannen is a professor in the linguistic department at Georgetown University. (Linguistic is the study the way people talk to each other and how it affects relationship). In “ Oh, Mom. Oh, Honey. : Why do you have to say that?” Deborah uses her profession along with her own personal experience and five years of research to describe how a mother-daughter relationship is much different than any other. Deborah describes that relationship as having a “special intensity”. The relationship a mother has with their daughter is one of the most complex and misunderstood relationships. However, Deborah exceptional essay defines the conflicts that; criticism, remarks and the closeness between mother and daughter can bring.

Her research has shown that daughters describe a mother’s criticism as “ a magnifying glass held between the sun rays … concentration the rays of imperfection” (971). But for a mother a criticism is just a way to help her daughter improve. As sighted by Deborah “ Mothers subject their daughters to a level of scrutiny people usually reserve for themselves.” Meaning a mother will be a tough critic not because their daughter does not please them, but because a mother only wants what is best for their daughter. Giving excellent examples to help understand both points of view while defining how a daughter may misinterpret her mothers’ remark. In her essay Deborah gave an example of a mother asking her daughter how she planned to cut the tomatoes for dinner, yet suggesting she should cut them the way she would. Rather than the daughter