Cards of Fortune

3186 Words13 Pages
Cards of Fortune

I suppose in a way Tonia is right, life isn’t worth living, if both of us aren’t there to see it, together. That’s what twins do after all. They are an intrinsical part of each other's life, ceasing to exist without the second. But, I feel that we’re drifting apart, separated by this something, intangible, unnamable, and yet more potent than all of our past put together.

I can remember how as little girls we played together. There were no other children with the troupe, and even when we passed the towns… well, the children were never friendly, preferring to fear and call names. But Tonia, she was always there to play with, to laugh with, to cry with. Playing by the fire, dancing under the moon, we were eccentric children, not given to the usual childhood games, preferring instead to talk quietly, and whisper our secrets, but it was always us, together, until now. One of our favorite games was to confuse Septemius, the poor man; he always did have trouble telling us apart. But then, we were children at the time, and not given over to worrying about the troubles of a grown man.

Poor, dear, Septemius, even now I can sense his thoughts, and he’s worried, as I am. He knows that Tonia is growing apart from us, and every so often, I’ll catch him looking at her, realizing the distance that’s growing, between her and me, between all of us, and I see that look of daunting sadness in his eyes. I think he sees mother in her, in us rather. I remember the look he gives her now, and it’s the look he had when my mother… left. People tend to think children do not remember such things, that in their happy naïve lives they don’t understand, but I knew then, as I do now, that mother broke his heart. And as much as Septemius grieves for Tonia’s departure from the family, and through that grieves still for the loss of the woman he once knew, so do I grieve. And, yet, somehow I feel my sadness deeper, a sharper pain, for it is not the loss of an abstract family member, or even a sister, it is the loss of part of myself.
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