Birth Order Personality Traits

Birth Order Personality Traits

It is easy to wonder how two children from the same family can turn

out so differently, with completely different personalities and ways

of solving problems. Recognizing the immense influence of family

dynamics on young children can clear up a lot of the confusion. For

example, eldest children look to their parents as role models for

their behavior, and may become perfectionistic as parents expect them

to act like little adults. Middle children may become more dependent

on peer approval and their friends because they tend to get relatively

less attention within their families. And youngest children may use

humor as a way of securing their parents' attention.

However, birth order actually plays a subtler role than the above

examples may suggest. Not all middle children are very gregarious and

social, and not all youngest children play the clown. Before assuming

that because your middle child is a perfectionist, birth order cannot

play a role in your family, you should take a look at some of the

factors that may influence how birth order affects your family. Most

important is the spacing of children. If children are more than five

years apart, it is more like the parents have two separate families

than as if they have two children, an oldest and a youngest. You can

expect your ten-year-old to act like an only child, your

three-year-old like another oldest child in the family, and your

one-year-old to act like the youngest. This is because birth order

influences personality the most during the first five years of life.

By the same token, if a child is adopted after the age of five, he or

she will...

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...y had to be home at 10:30 at the

same age. Youngest children are often doted on by their parents.

However, because they are small, they usually learn to be either an

entertainer or someone who stays out of family conflicts, because they

are too little to be powerful players in the family. To parent

youngest children more effectively, recognize their accomplishments

(even though a graduation from primary school may be old hat to you

now) and try to stick by your rules.

Not all families are alike, and there are certainly other factors that

influence how your child will grow and develop. Good rules and a lot

of love remain essential ingredients of good parenting. Understanding

birth order, however, will help you become more aware of each of your

children's individual circumstances, and help you tailor your

approach.