Edie Windsor and Thea Spyer met in 1963, quickly developing a romantic relationship. As Thea Spyer said, they “immediately just fit”. By 1967, Thea Spyer proposed to Edie Windsor, who instantly responded “yes, yes, yes”. After a forty year engagement, Thea and Edie were married in Toronto, Canada in 2007. The film Edie & Thea: A Very Long Engagement explores Thea and Edie’s relationship including the challenges of being a lesbian couple and the beauty of their long lasting love. Edie Windsor was born in Philadelphia in 1929. She was originally married to a man, but left him in 1950 to move to New York City by herself. Edie received her mathematics degree in 1957 from New York University. She worked in mathematics and computers with IBM. She …show more content…
She thought it was best for her to find a nice guy and get married. Edie’s desire to become straight and live a “normal” life shows the extreme homophobia of this time. Edie was obviously unable to become straight, but she spent many years trying to forcibly change herself. Society’s standards made her feel she could not be her true self. Thea Spyer was a Jewish immigrant from Holland and move to the United States in the 1940s. She went to college as a music major, but ultimately became a psychology major. Thea had her first affair with a woman during college. The woman was nine years older and much more experienced. A night watchman once watched them making out in a parking lot at night. The watchman reported the couple to the dean, and Thea was dismissed from the school. This is a very blatant example of homophobia. Thea and Elie met in 1963 in Greenwich Village. Thea wanted “to play the field”, but Edie changed that plan. They traveled to Dutch Islands together when they were still casually dating, spending a week together in the jungle. In a boat accident, Thea saved Edie’s life. In response, Edie said “you’re responsible it now”, meaning Thea was responsible for Edie’s life and their relationship became more …show more content…
Edie never told her parents, but she told her older sisters. Edie’s sisters were fine with it until Edie and Thea’s relationship became serious. They became “shockingly homophobic” and went years with out speaking to their sister. Edie’s mother never formally knew the extent of their relationship, but Edie’s mother loved Thea and Edie thought her mother secretly knew. Thea Spyer was “outed” when she was sixteen and her father found a love letter about a woman. Her entire family quickly found out and “looked down on the whole thing”. Thea was in therapy as well. Her therapist told her father that it was only because she was young, and she would find a husband once she matured. Through out her whole life, Thea’s family remained disapproving. A subtle homophobic instance in this film was Edie’s engagement pin. When Thea proposed to Edie, she gave her an engagement pin to wear instead of a ring. Edie was too worried about the questions from her community and coworkers to publicly wear an engagement ring. Edie could not have the classic ring because of societies unwelcoming nature towards
Alison Bechdel uses her graphic memoir, Fun home, to explore her relationship with her father. She uses the book as a tool to reflect on her life and the affect her father had on her. She discovers how her fathers closeted sexuality affected her childhood and her transition into adulthood. His death left a powerful mark and left her searching for answers. She clearly states this when she says, “it’s true that he didn’t kill himself until I was nearly twenty. But his absence resonated retroactively, echoing back through all the time I knew him.” (23). This feeling drove her to look back on their relationship and find what binds her so strongly to a man she never understood.
After witnessing Abigail’s affair with Detective Len Fenerman, Susie recalls when as a young child, her mother used to tell her tales of mythology, such as Zeus and Persephone, rather than princess fairytales like most mothers would. The young mom liked to recount these stories because “she had gotten her master’s in English―having fought tooth and nail with Grandma Lynn to go so far in school―and still held on to vague ideas of teaching when the two of us were old enough to be left on our own” (Sebold 149). As mentioned, becoming a mother to Susie and Lindsey forced her to press pause on her ambitions to step further in her career and education. However, she held on to these dreams since there would be an opportunity to carry out what she had planned when her children grew up and no longer needed round-the-clock attention or care. These hopes were quickly crushed after the birth of Buckley, the third child in the Salmon family. Abigail realizes that she would be forever constrained to motherhood “since suburban life, for women, meant commitment to home and family, to house care and child care” (Hacht 143). Since she became a wife and mother in the late 1950s, Abigail Salmon represents how many women felt during the Seventies as ideologies of feminism and motherhood clashed. To these women, domesticity
Since Connie is a teenager, she relies on her parents to take care of her and provide for her. Even though she fights against her family, they are still the foundation of the only life Connie knows. Her constant need of approval from men becomes a habit for Connie because she doesn’t get approval at home, instead she gets disapproval. “Why don’t you keep your room clean like your sister? How’ve you got your hair fixed-- what the hell stinks? Hair spray? You don’t see your sister using that junk.” Because of this criticism, she isolates herself from her parents. For her, her only way of getting approval is to be independent from her parents and those who are trying to protect her. Connie’s search for independence only comes to her but only in a harsh
In the graphic novel Fun Home, by Allison Bechdel, sexual self-discovery plays a critical role in the development of the main character, Allison Bechdel herself; furthermore, Bechdel depicts the plethora of factors that are pivotal in the shaping of who she is before, during and after her sexual self-development. Bechdel’s anguish and pain begins with all of her accounts that she encountered at home, with her respective family member – most importantly her father – at school, and the community she grew up within. Bechdel’s arduous process of her queer sexual self-development is throughout the novel as complex as her subjectivity itself. Main points highlight the difficulties behind which are all mostly focused on the dynamics between her and her father. Throughout the novel, she spotlights many accounts where she felt lost and ashamed of her coming out and having the proper courage to express this to her parents. Many events and factors contributed to this development that many seem to fear.
The family discovery was shocking to the the whole family and there inevitably was going to be an adjustment period. That being said, generally the adults in the household would step up and handle the situation, but teenage Grete was left to do this task, “During the first two weeks, his parents could not bring themselves to come in to him.” (Kafka 29). This was extremely unfair burden to put upon Grete who is already going through many changes in her personal life. Mr. and Mrs. Samsa once again betrayed one of their children and negated the possibility of Grete’s seemingly bright
...ned with Ed and Marylynn, and it is very logical that one would do so. However, readers may find reading this story more beneficial if they can learn from it. The lesson behind this story is that one should not be suppressing one's feelings and emotions too extensively and should let out these feelings by seeking forms of release or by simply expressing one's feelings. One might argue that Sally's esteem is what ultimately led to her downfall, nonetheless we have to keep in mind that confidence and self-approval, not to be confused with arrogance, are also what individuals need in order to live a fun and fulfilling life. It might be an overstatement to say that our protagonist is living a lie, but it is easy to say that she is not living her life as her true self, her internal self, and can very well never be happy in this lifetime if she continues to live this way.
LaSala, Michael C. "Lesbians, Gay Men, and Their Parents: Family Therapy for the Coming-Out Crisis." Family Process 39.1 (2000): 67-81. Academic Search Premier. Web. 7 May 2014.
Finally, I argue that “truth in mothering is a far better policy” (Thurer 334). As Eva observes during a prison visit, “it was following…pat scripts that had helped to land me in [this] room” (Shriver 44). In her letters, she is finally able to break free from the wife role and speak truths that the mask of motherhood had suppressed. Her authenticity with Kevin during the prison visits nets more progress in their relationship than all those years of pretending ever had. When she finally asks Kevin why he did it, he is honest about his uncertainty. Remorseful, he returns Celia’s eye to her and asks her to bury it. He then embraces her, showing vulnerability. As Eva and Kevin look upon each other in this moment unmasked, she finally realizes, “I love my son” (Shriver 400). Ruddick describes attentive love – a mother perceiving and supporting a child’s real experience – as a counter to the mask’s fantasy and inauthenticity (105). When Eva and Kevin finally unmask, she is able to attentively love him as he truly is. Eva’s love, in its unconventionality, is not the “continuous, unconditional” mother-love of myth; but in its authenticity, it is far more meaningful (Rich
Sandy Wilson, the author of Daddy’s Apprentice: incest, corruption, and betrayal: a survivor’s story, was the victim of not only sexual abuse but physical and emotional abuse as well, in addition to being a product of incest. Sandy Wilson’s story began when she was about six years old when her birth father returns home from incarceration, and spans into her late teens. Her father returning home from prison was her first time meeting him, as she was wondered what he looked like after hearing that he would be released (Wilson, 2000, p. 8). Not only was her relationship with her father non-existent, her relationship with her birth mother was as well since she was for most of her young life, cared for by her grandmother and grandfather. When she was told that her birth mother coming to visit she says, “…I wish my mother wouldn’t visit. I never know what to call her so I don’t all her anything. Not her name, Kristen. Not mother. Not anything (Wilson, 2000, p. 4).” This quote essentially demonstrated the relationship between Sandy and her mother as one that is nonexistent even though Sandy recognizes Kristen as her birth mother.
Secret Survivors by Sue Blume is a paper uncovering the incest and it’s aftereffects in women. Throughout this paper, Blume makes some points that are very hypocritical and bias. She is a private therapist, social worker, and diplomat in social work, but she has never been a victim, and her opinions make for a worse argument.
Her family life is depicted with contradictions of order and chaos, love and animosity, conventionality and avant-garde. Although the underlying story of her father’s dark secret was troubling, it lends itself to a better understanding of the family dynamics and what was normal for her family. The author doesn’t seem to suggest that her father’s behavior was acceptable or even tolerable. However, the ending of this excerpt leaves the reader with an undeniable sense that the author felt a connection to her father even if it wasn’t one that was desirable. This is best understood with her reaction to his suicide when she states, “But his absence resonated retroactively, echoing back through all the time I knew him. Maybe it was the converse of the way amputees feel pain in a missing limb.” (pg. 399)
In When the Piano Stops: A Memoir of Healing from Sexual Abuse, Catherine McCall addresses the issue of incest in a blunt and honest manner that implores readers to not only respectfully listen to her story but to also reevaluate what they have been told about abuse. Without reservations, she also aims to encourage readers (mainly victims of abuse) to not be afraid about speaking up for themselves or reporting the abuse to the authorities. In her dedication, McCall states that her main goal in writing the memoir is...
After filing for divorce and agreeing to joint custody of their nine-year-old daughter, David eventually finds love again with another man named Tom. However, when him and Tom bump into his daughter and former wife at a local diner, David introduces Tom as an old work friend. Though David could have easily expected a serious argument with Tom after that encounter, he fears a life without his daughter. Despite the fact that David knew his daughter had no negative feelings towards her best friend who was adopted from China by a same-sex lesb...
In, Body Work by Sara Paretsky, the Guaman family’s homophobia damages their family by causing both Allie’s rape and death, and the covering up of them. Homophobia manages to cause all of this damage because it is a powerful social control mechanism, meaning it leads individuals towards conformity, and shames and or ostracizes those who don’t conform to the societal norm. In this case, the societal norm is heterosexuality, and homosexuals are shamed and ostracized for deviating from that norm. Allie is ashamed of being a lesbian and decides to serve in Iraq in the hope that she can repent for her “sins,” and her family is so ashamed of her homosexuality that they must deny it, which allows Tintrey to cover up the truth behind Allie’s death.
Society has changed a lot in the last couple of decades, though, at the time set in the play Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, the stereotype was very much alive. Even today echoes of this archaic family model still exist. Being normal, and adapting to society, can often lead a person to feel a sense of belonging in the short term. However, the penalty for conforming is that the individual can be lost. Giving up your personal goals, in the pursuit of those passed down from your family can lead to a lifetime of regrets. Basing decisions on societal norms can also have devastating consequences, leading the individual to become lost in a mundane life that is not of their choosing. Martha and George created a fictional son for their private needs to take away from the failure they felt as married individuals by not being able to conceive a child. Nick and Honey started their marriage to fill their roles as future parents in the expected family dynamic. Confronting each couple is a personal failure resulting in an unrealized future. Neither couple has a desire to admit their shortcomings for fear of judgment from the other couple. The play, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? displays how the desire to be normal and successful, in the eyes of our peers, impacts our life