The Double Life of Closeted Gays

1950 Words4 Pages
bulb-icon

Recommended: Social and environmental factors influencing gender identity

Imagine living your life pretending to be someone you are not. Of course hiding who you really are is going to have an effect on you in many ways. In “The Shadow Side of Everyday Life,” Zweig and Abrams suggest that every person has a shadow and “the shadow acts like a psychic immune system, defining what is self and what is not-self”(325). They also believe that our shadows contain dark qualities. When a homosexual person passes as straight, they suppress a dark shadow that is hidden from the world. Although, having a double life is often seen having a primarily psychological origin there are also social reasons that homosexuals choose that lifestyle. Laws such as Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and same-sex marriage laws are some social causes that contribute to self-concealment. There are also psychological reasons such as family relationships and bullying that lead to living a double life. What can we do to stop this dilemma and make our society better? We can treat gays to stop being gay or inform society that being gay is not a choice depending on whether they chose that lifestyle or not. Social causes such as Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and same-sex marriage laws contribute to homosexuals choosing to hide their real self. In the military, many homosexual soldiers are being punished for not liking the opposite sex. In Burks article, “Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Victimization in the Military” he describes the struggles service members face. Burk explains that if a homosexual does not hide his sexual orientation than he or she will be discharged from the military. Between 1980 and 2009 over 32,000 service members were discharged due to their sexual-orientation. Also, sexual assault and sexual harassment is very common among service members... ... middle of paper ... ...ademic Search Premier. Web. 7 May 2014. Destro, Robert A. "You Have The Right To Remain Silent": Does The U.S. Constitution Require Public Affirmation Of Same-Sex Marriage?." BYU Journal of Public Law 27.2 (2013): 397-440. Academic Search Premier. Web. 7 May 2014. Jenkins, William J. "Can Anyone Tell Me Why I'm Gay? What Research Suggests Regarding The Origins Of Sexual Orientation." North American Journal of Psychology 12.2 (2010): 279-295. Academic Search Premier. Web. 7 May 2014. LaSala, Michael C. "Lesbians, Gay Men, and Their Parents: Family Therapy for the Coming-Out Crisis." Family Process 39.1 (2000): 67-81. Academic Search Premier. Web. 7 May 2014. Srabstein, Jorge Carlos. "News Reports of Bullying-Related Fatal and Nonfatal Injuries in the Americas." Revista Panamericana De Salud Publica 33.5 (2013): 378-382. Academic Search Premier. Web. 7 May 2014.

Show More
Related

  • The Life Course and Social Workers

    2680 Words  | 6 Pages

    Moses, E. A. & Hawkins, R. O. (1982). Counselling Lesbian Women and Gay Men: A Life Issues Approach. St Louis: Mosby.

    Read More

  • Why Gays Shouldn’t Serve by David Horowitz

    1050 Words  | 3 Pages

    The first main point that I want to focus on is how daily life in the military would be affected if we knew we had gays or lesbians sleeping right next to us every night. Would we want to move out of our barracks and move to one where there wasn’t a gay or lesbian or would we just stick it out? In some cases you have times where you may have other soldiers in your barracks that you may not know if they are gay/lesbian at all unless they tell you. This affects many things like the “Buddy System” and also the life in the barracks. “Most junior enlisted (the ones who have to live i...

    Read More

  • The Stonewall Riots

    1224 Words  | 3 Pages

    In the past decades, the struggle for gay rights in the Unites States has taken many forms. Previously, homosexuality was viewed as immoral. Many people also viewed it as pathologic because the American Psychiatric Association classified it as a psychiatric disorder. As a result, many people remained in ‘the closet’ because they were afraid of losing their jobs or being discriminated against in the society. According to David Allyn, though most gays could pass in the heterosexual world, they tended to live in fear and lies because they could not look towards their families for support. At the same time, openly gay establishments were often shut down to keep openly gay people under close scrutiny (Allyn 146). But since the 1960s, people have dedicated themselves in fighting for

    Read More

  • What is a Homosexual?

    1010 Words  | 3 Pages

    Andrew Sullivan, author of, What is a Homosexual, portrays his experience growing up; trapped in his own identity. He paints a detailed portrait of the hardships caused by being homosexual. He explains the struggle of self-concealment, and how doing so is vital for social acceptation. The ability to hide one’s true feelings make it easier to be “invisible” as Sullivan puts it. “The experience of growing up profoundly different in emotional and psychological makeup inevitably alters a person’s self-perception.”(Sullivan)This statement marks one of the many reasons for this concealment. The main idea of this passage is to reflect on those hardships, and too understand true self-conscious difference. Being different can cause identity problems, especially in adolescents.

    Read More

  • Born Gay: Truth and Circumstances.

    1431 Words  | 3 Pages

    Malory, Marcia. "Homosexuality & Choice: Are Gay People 'Born This Way’." www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/23/homosexuality--choice-born-science_n_20033 . N.p., 25 Oct 2012. Web. 10 Apr 2014.

    Read More

  • Sexual Orientation Discrimination in the Military

    1873 Words  | 4 Pages

    In September 2011, the United States lifted the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy (DADT), which restricted gay, lesbian, and bisexuals from openly serving in the military. This was the first time in American history in which people of every sexual orientation could serve openly (“11 Facts About,” n.d.). This was a momentous occasion for some and not so much for others. For those military members that had served in secret and those members that were firmly against gays and lesbians, this repeal had different meaning. Both groups contained members that have served in the military for years and were products of the Former President Bill Clinton’s 1993 “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. For many soldiers of this era, communication issues arose due to a pre-existing mentality, learned rules and regulations in services reinforced for two decades and the general cultural within combat related fields.

    Read More

  • Closed Doors Should Be Allowed In The Military

    702 Words  | 2 Pages

    In 2010 General James Amos worried that openly gay men and women would get Marines killed. He said that they would be a “distraction”. The mission for full equality in the military is still incomplete. They were treated like they were sick and had a disease.

    Read More

  • The Challenges of Lesbian and Gay Youth

    2611 Words  | 6 Pages

    Despite the transition, little consideration has been given to understanding the growing population of gay adolescents. 25% of American families are likely to have a gay child (Hidalgo 24); In the United States, three million adolescents are estimated to be homosexual. Yet, American society still ignores gay adolescents. Majority of children are raised in heterosexual families, taught in heterosexual establishments, and put in heterosexual peer groups. Gay adolescents often feel forced by parents to pass as “heterosexually normal” (Herdt 2). As a result, homosexual teens hide their sexual orientation and feelings, especially from their parents. Limited research conducted on gay young adults on disclosure to parents generally suggests that disclosure is a time of familial crisis and emotional distress. Very few researchers argue that disclosure to parents results in happiness, bringing parents and children closer (Ben-Ari 90).

    Read More

  • Sexual Orientation: Is It a Choice?

    1857 Words  | 4 Pages

    Osmundson, Joseph. "'I Was Born This Way': Is Sexuality Innate, and Should It Matter?" Harvard Kennedy School. N.p., 2011. Web. 11 Feb. 2014. .

    Read More

  • Exploring The Closet and Coming Out

    2169 Words  | 5 Pages

    The act of "coming out" is a complex political tool. Its use is open to ambiguous possibilities, ranging from subverting social order to reinforcing those power structures. Of course, it is undoubtedly an empowering act for many non-heterosexual persons to identify themselves as such. Even if the categories of "heterosexual" and "homosexual" are entirely socially constructed (as Michel Foucault argues), that does not mean that they are not real categories of thought that shape the way we live our lives. Indeed, my computer is entirely constructed, but is still undeniably real. Since many non-heterosexual people do live their lives identifying differently from heterosexual people, they may find "homosexual" (or a similar label) an accurate description of their identities and daily lives, however socially contingent that description is. That said, I do not wish to make a judgement call on whether or not someone should or should not come out. Rather, I wish to examine the complicated space represented by "the closet" and the multifarious effects that "coming out" has on the larger social structure.

    Read More

  • Homosexuality and Ignorance

    2523 Words  | 6 Pages

    Schwartz, John. “Helping a Child to Come Out.” The New York Times 5 October. 2012: Print.

    Read More

  • Homosexuality in Today's Society

    1992 Words  | 4 Pages

    In today's society, there exists a mixture of issues which tend to raise arguments with people all over. There are a handful of topics that always seem to escalate these differences between people to the point where one who earnestly participates in discussion, debate and argument can direct their anger towards their feelings on the person themselves. Some examples of such delicate subjects are the death penalty, abortion, and euthanasia. An issue that has in recent years, begun to increase arguments, is the acceptability of homosexuality in society. Until recently, homosexuality was considered strictly taboo. If an individual was homosexual, it was considered a secret to be kept from all family, friends, and society. However, it seem that society has begun to accept this lifestyle by allowing same sex couples. The idea of coming out of the 'closet' has moved to the head of homosexual individuals when it used to be the exception. Homosexuality is nothing to be ashamed of and we should all come to realize this.

    Read More

  • Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Issues - Gay Teenagers and the Internet

    1206 Words  | 3 Pages

    Parents, Families, and Freinds of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). Home page. http://www.pflag.org/ (22 Apr. 1998).

    Read More

  • LGBT Subculture

    1415 Words  | 3 Pages

    Savin-Williams, Ritch C. Mom, Dad, I'm Gay: How Families Negotiate Coming out. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 2001. Print.

    Read More

  • Bullying Essay

    630 Words  | 2 Pages

    Bullying is a serious problem in our society today. There are many examples in the world, either in direct contact or through social network to harass peers. Bullying can leave many different effects on child’s development, and adulthood as well. Bullying not only affect physical health, it also can affect mental health. The effects bullying can have on its victims is something that may last throughout their lives, or something that may end their life. Violence can be psychological, economic, physical, and sexual. Bullying can affect your brain and body. There is also workplace bullying, which became international problem. Children hood bullying can leave lifelong scars.

    Read More

More about The Double Life of Closeted Gays

Open Document