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I don’t identify with her because I’m an addict, or because I used to be one. I identify with her, because no matter how rough my life gets no matter what God puts in my way I still can push it all aside and forget about my problems for just that few seconds to make a difference in someone else’s life. I found that she was incredibly brave, up until the end it didn’t say why but it did say that she committed suicide by hanging herself a few days after her grandmother had died, in the book it showed she was extremely close to her. It showed that she was so close with family, and I am too. My family means the world to me, and when things happen to them I can just barley make it out of bed the next few days.
She was incredibly in love with James, she sees past all of his flaws, and knows that he’s as real as people get. Full of faults, and problems but yet some how he’s perfect. With that said, I look at my relationship the same way, he may have his faults but I know he’s the most perfect man for me.
Page 152-155 in the book, James is walking on a trail and starts think about his life and gets so pissed off that he starts tearing apart a small pine tree. He says he hears a voice behind him but he doesn’t care, and then when he has almost demolished the tree he turns around to the voice, and it’s Lilly, and she hugs him and tells him that it’s ok, and just holds him and lets him cry it out.
This reminded me of the section of Psychology that we recently studied ‘Stress, Health, and Coping (chapter13)’ First it reminded me of chapter 13 because well obviously he has some sort of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, caused from his addictions and living in complete poverty and basically thinking his parents didn’t care about him as a child.
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I also found similarities in ‘Personality (chapter 11)’. I found Freud’s ‘Dynamic Theory of Personality’ located in the part of ‘The Structure of Personality’ with the death instinct, or which Freud called: Thanatos, which can cause threatening behaviors, including self destructive actions, which are clearly displayed with the drug abuse, and disassembling the tree.
Also in chapter 11 with the theory of the Id, and the Ego, well from what I understand of the Id and the Unconscious, I believe that the thoughts that he was having were moved into the preconscious. Some of the things that he was saying were quite irrational and it seemed that his Ego and superego were totally being ignored when he did things and also said and thought some of the things in this section, but in the first few pages it seems that is all that was there was his morals and rightful things to do. But then it skipped to uncontrollable rage, and then to just letting go to Lilly.
In this section there is also what chapter 11 called ‘Displacement’ which is a psychoanalytic theory, that says the ego defense mechanism that involves unconsciously shifting the target of an emotional urge to a substitute target that is less threatening or dangerous (Hockenbury, Hockenbury ,2006) which is shown by, instead of taking his rage out on the people that he could have, he took it out on a helpless tree that couldn’t fight back, couldn’t judge him. I believe that’s why he didn’t because he hated himself and he didn’t understand why people didn’t hate him, but he couldn’t hurt them, but he could hurt and destroy the tree.
I hated the fact that I couldn’t go through and analyze the whole book, I tried to stay on track most of the time, I’ve read this book at least four times, and I cannot get over how amazing his story is. I don’t care if it’s fake or not, I believe that it’s an autobiographical fiction, but that’s my opinion.
The book has changed my way of how I look at things, just because of the amazing courage that is displayed in it, and how much thought and just everything that was put in it. I identified with almost all of the characters in some way shape or form. I also wish that I could dig deeper into the book. I remember when you were talking about the books that we could read, and as soon as I heard you say the book ‘A Million Little Pieces’ I knew right there that was the book I was going to read.
Lilly is so unbelievable in this story, she reminds me not only of myself in some aspects, but also Marilyn Monroe, she also was quite devoted, but that’s a whole other story with-in it’s self. I don’t know why but when I first read this story it opened up my eyes to start treating people with respect and treat them as if they’re worth everything in the world to me even if I didn’t know them, because you could have no idea what they’re going through, or what there hardships are.
While reading the book this time around I realized that there are so many issues within the world and that there are a lot of people concerned with themselves, and I know I am at times too, but I just found myself stopping my reading and thinking about what is it with people why are they so self centered. Because this book showed me that we shouldn’t be caring about ourselves so much, what we should be caring about is everyone around us, because some of them are ready to burst and maybe if we break ourselves out of our sheltered lives and take a look around maybe just maybe we can be like Lilly, and make just the right amount of difference in someone’s life that they will realize what a blessing it really is.