I wake up every morning feeling sick. Like someone has ripped a part of me away. I know what I need, but I don’t have the money to buy it. Heroin is very expensive, but it’s worth the price as long as I have the money. I haven’t had a job in over four months. My money has run out. I collect scrap metal to make enough money to buy the supplies I need to make drugs. Heroin has become too expensive so now I have to rely on krokadil to give me my high. It has the same feel as heroin, but terrible effects on my body.
Krokadil is a drug I can make out of codeine, gasoline, paint thinner, hydrochloric acid, iodine, and the red phosphorous from matchbox strike pads. I cook it together and then inject it into my veins. It such a great feeling, but I know I’m harming my body. If I keep this up I’m only going to live around two years before the krokadil eats me from the inside out. I haven’t even been on it very long and I’ve already noticed swelling around my arms where I inject it and sores are starting to appear.
My husband left me a few years ago. I guess he couldn’t stand to watch me waste all of our money on drugs. My mom and dad couldn’t stand to see me high all the time. They tried to put me in rehab but I refused. I told them I could stop any time I wanted to, even though I knew that wasn’t true. They moved away and I haven’t seen them in five years. They used to call me, but I don’t have a phone anymore because I can’t afford it. My life has completely fallen apart and I feel helpless.
Right now I live in an abandoned building with my best friend. She helps me get the drugs I need. She loans me money when I need it. She knows I’m not going to be able to pay her back. Today she is going to go to work at the gas station dow...
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...done this before. I look down and my arm has started to turn a scaly green from how much krokadil I’ve been using. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to use this arm any longer for my drugs.
I took two more doses of krokadil before my friend came home. It was around 5 o’clock now. The day is about over. I helped her cook some dinner. We had spaghetti tonight. It’s a cheep and easy meal to fix. After dinner, she smoked some weed and I shot another dose of krokadil through my veins before I went to bed.
Every day is almost exactly the same. I’m either finding things to sell for money so I can buy things to make drugs or I’m making the drugs. It never seems like I can have enough.
Works Cited
http://www.narconon.org/drug-information/krokodil.html
http://www.oasas.ny.gov/admed/fyi/krokodil.cfm
http://www.deadiversion.usdoj.gov/drug_chem_info/desomorphine.pdf
This medicalized interpretation of heroin addiction heavily emphasizes a constant state of suffering for those who are affected (Garcia 2010, 18). Furthermore, Nuevo Dia employees take this framework into account when contributing their efforts to treat addicts, on the premise that relapse will soon follow recovery (Garcia 2010, 13). When detox assistants assure themselves that their patients will return to the clinic, as if they never went through a period of treatment, one can expect that the quality of such to be drastically low. The cyclical pattern of inadequate therapies, temporary improvements in health and detrimental presuppositions all widen the health inequality gap in New Mexico. Garcia shares that the “interplay of biomedical and local discourses of chronicity compel dynamics of the Hispano heroin phenomenon,” which is evident in how the judicial system handles the social issue of addiction (2010,
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This becomes such common practice that many times the addiction is more than physical, but emotional need sets in. Why should one suffer the pain of life when it takes so little to escape them? “One cubic centimeter cures ten gloomy sentiments,” (54). It is found to be too easy to avoid all of their problems with one little pill, vial, needle, blotter, leaf, or bottle. The drug seems to be the easiest way, the path of least resistance.
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