Should You Date Out of Your League?

Should You Date Out of Your League?

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Competition is very popular in America, in education, jobs, and even families; but what about dating? Dating is one of the most competitive “games” all around the world. Dr. Tomas Cvreck spoke about competition and how it affects everything we know. Something as simple as who makes the first move can determine the outcome of the whole relationship as well as the future. Homogamy is everything in a relationship; how old the person is, the education level, the religion, and the yearly income. This is an example of why dating out of a person’s league is a risky thing in most cases. People that have a lot in common tend to find their way to someone compatible to themselves. This is why Dr. Cvreck stressed that dating out of one’s league is a risky move; because it can become more competitive. Although everyone is not competitive, everyone wants to have a happy marriage, but competitiveness is part of human nature and varies between men and women.
The feeling of competitiveness is natural, but the intensity of the characteristics depends on how the parents raised their child. If the parents are competitive their children will most likely inherit that trait; as it is a learned characteristic. Regardless, everyone is in competition with each other because they are all part of the same dating game and who will end up with whom? Men are naturally more competitive than women and tend to go for the more appealing women. On the other hand, women do look at appearance; but unlike men, they are more focused on the attributes of the person. Men tend to show their spouse or girlfriend off to make other guys jealous of what they ‘scored,’ when women want to brag about the nice things her spouse or boyfriend said or did for her. They are in the same competition, but it is viewed differently.
In this game of dating, competition truly relies on the gender of the person. A popular question is, “Is there a first move advantage?” The answer to that is yes. If women make the first move they are more likely to get their first choice of a guy rather than having to be asked out settle as a man might have to do. Men have the advantage because in our culture men are to make the first move no matter what, but their advantage decreases as the competition raises as all the guys are going after the same ‘hot’ girl.

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This is why it is hard to date out of one’s league. Couples need someone compatible with themselves; they will feel comfortable around them because they make the same amount of money, same beliefs, or are at the same maturity level. When it comes to sex in a relationship, men naturally crave more sex than women due to the levels of testosterone. But when the competition sets in, women may feel pressured to engage in sex before they are read; perhaps too appear more mature and to be liked by men. The whole dating game is about who responds and who proposes, and something as little as making the first move can determine the quality and outcome of any relationship.
The dating game is not random, it is predictable. People want to stay in their comfort zones, and be with someone they can relate too. The dating game is a positive-sum game but can turn negative if someone is at the bottom of the competition and feel the need to settle. Relationships form voluntarily and require a division of labor; there needs to be a healthy balance of physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being to make a relationship work. People are inherently competitive, which also depends on the gender of the individual. Everyone wants to find happiness. However, according to Dr. Cvreek that it is not a smart choice to date out of a person’s league. On the opposing side, couples can be with whom they want, although it might take extra work, it will be worth it if a couple finds happiness. In closing, everyone has a chance, even if the competition is harder and the relationship more complicated, it can and will work.

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