Good evening, friends, families, fellow classmates, Curley staff, and all else who may be visiting today. I felt the need to distinguish the two separate groups, friends and classmates, due to the sole reason that almost all of you are not my friends, nor do I ever hope you will be. Quite frankly, it is not just that I simply not like you all, I actually dislike most of you. Do not take this too personal though, I am just very excited to finally leave all of you and go our separate ways, except for those who are going to the same college as I am, in which case I hope that we avoid crossing paths again. I really did feel the need to tell you all that I do not like you only because of the fact that I have needed to clarify my feelings on this topic way more times than I should’ve.
I am David Carter, not Dave Carter because I so dearly despise it when that name is used by anyone other than my very close friends, and I have already stated that none of you fall into that category. I stand before you tonight, not because I am the valedictorian, even though I am clearly intellectually superior to the majority, nor because I have been recognized as Curley man of the year due to a possible bribery or just the misguided judgements of whomever decides on this silly award. I am here because I am the only one of our class who can compose a speech that does not consist of the all too common, basic, and honestly boring graduation speeches that anyone and everyone could create, or so I thought. From being around you all for so long, I am surprised that some of you can even form a coherent sentence at all.
Over these past four years, I have been taught many valuable lessons, and have had many memorable experiences, that no matter how much I tr...
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...at will prove useful in our lives in one way or another. When you really start thinking about it, Curley has done a fantastic job at preparing us for wherever our life takes us next. Whether that be college, straight into work, seminary, or as a bum that lives under a bridge, we definitely need to thank Curley in one way or another. Thanks to the faculty and staff, for without their tireless, and sometimes futile efforts at teaching and providing us with a facility to learn, none of this would be possible. Thanks to my fellow classmates who also were an essential piece in, not just mine, but all of our experiences here at Curley. I hope that I will never forget all of these lessons that I have gained over these past years, and that I will forget all of you, my fellow classmates here at Curley. Farewell, I wish you all the best, and that we never associate ever again.
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