My First Experience With Death

My first experience with death occurred when I was around the age of 6. My grandfather on my dad’s side had been diagnosed with lung cancer. I did not know him, he was in India and I had only seen him through pictures my mom had shown me. At that time, I felt nothing, how could I be upset over someone I barely knew? I remember my parents sitting at the table talking about his deteriorating condition. My dad decided to visit India for a month to be with him during his last days. I felt angry, very angry. My dad would be leaving me for a whole month because of that old guy? I mean he brought the lung cancer upon himself maybe he shouldn’t have smoked cigarettes right?

I cried in my room for hours wishing my dad would not go, a whole month without him seemed like the end of the world. I would have no one to play hockey with, no one to tuck me in at night and no one to eat donuts with every Friday. My dad tried to console me but I was too angry to listen to him, I suddenly hated my grandpa for causing my dad to leave me alone. At the airport my dad gave me a long hug and told me to be brave since I was now “the man of the house,” (even though I am a girl), I had to take care of my mom. Promptly this made me suck in my tears and stop acting like a “loser.” It was hard repressing my feelings, seeing my dad leave made my eyes tear severely but I held them back, the man of the house does not cry. Time went by faster when I was at school, I had less time to miss my dad. About two weeks later, my mom got a call from India, my grandpa had died. My mom broke down crying, she slammed the phone across the room into the wall. I felt scared to appr...

... middle of paper ...

...ath have developed gradually. From the age of 6 when my grandpa died to my intimate death experience, I have learnt a lot about loss and how to acknowledge it. My spirituality has helped me understand death in a way that satisfies me. Having this connection with my faith has made me a better person, led me to make good choices in my life and to understand why death occurs and what exactly happens after it. One of the reasons why people fear death is because of the unknown component of what will happen after. If I had no belief of what would happen after death I would feel confused and scared. To me, there is nothing to hide about death. In my family we can regularly talk about death and what will happen to us after we die. Having some type of after life belief has reduced my death anxiety and given me hope which allows me to think and talk about death candidly.