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How often have you heard "when the children come, the marriage ends" New parents are routinely warned how once a baby enters the picture nothing will ever be the same. The budding parents are unnerved because the naysayers are seasoned parents who know what they are talking about. These veterans prophesize doom and gloom in with the baby, and out with fun. Gone will be sleep, leisure-pastimes, nights out, friends, laziness, sex and then ultimately the marriage dissolves. We hold this belief that children are detrimental to marriage because to give to a child takes us away from devoting time to keeping up our image. We are supposed to look like vibrant, vital, beautiful people. Achieving the image is hard work, and requires substantial time to beauty maintenance, clothes shopping, exercising, and socializing. When we are out doing such activities, we receive admiration and applause from peers.
Raising children offers no such external rewards. There are no medals, paychecks, or fame attached to the role of childcare giver. And in our present society, that renders this position insignificant. When there is no value in nurturing, there can be no value in being a child. Don't ever make the mistake of thinking the child does not know this. Children know they are looked upon as troublesome and annoying. They see their parents giving their time to what they value; jobs, social events, hobbies, and other external means in which they get validated. Instead of nuisances, children, in fact, should be regarded as a celebration of the marriage.
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"Marriage Is For Keeps." 123HelpMe.com. 23 Feb 2020
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