There are some grounds to assume that a cognitive dissonance is involved in feeling that children are more a satisfaction than a nuisance. Why do people bother with parenting? It is time consuming, exhausting, strains otherwise pleasurable and tranquil relationships to their limits. Still, humanity keeps at it: breeding.
It is the easiest to resort to Nature. After all, all living species breed and most of them parent. We are, all taken into consideration, animals and, therefore, subject to the same instinctive behaviour patterns. There is no point in looking for a reason: survival itself (whether of the gene pool or, on a higher level, of the species) is at stake. Breeding is a transport mechanism: handing the precious cargo of genetics down generations of "organic containers".
But this is a reductionist view, which both ignores epistemological and emotional realities – and is tautological, thereby explaining something in terms of itself. Calling something by a different name or describing the mechanisms involved in minute detail does not an explanation make.
First hypothesis: we bring children to the world in order to "circumvent" death. We attain immortality (genetically and psychologically – though in both cases it is imaginary) by propagating our genetic material through the medium of our offspring.
This is a highly dubious claim. Any analysis, however shallow, will reveal its weaknesses. Our genetic material gets diluted beyond reconstruction with time. It constitutes 50% of the first generation, 25% of the second and so on. If this were the paramount concern – incest should have been the norm, being a behaviour better able to preserve a specific set of genes (especially today, when genetic screening can effectively guard against the birth of defective babies). Moreover, progeny is a dubious way of perpetuating one's self. No one remembers one's great great grandfathers. One's memory is better preserved by intellectual feats or architectural monuments. The latter are much better conduits than children and grandchildren.
Still, this indoctrinated misconception is so strong that a baby boom characterizes post war periods. Having been existentially threatened, people multiply in the vain belief that they thus best protect their genetic heritage and fixate their memory.
In the better-educated, higher income, low infant mort...
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...en, he develops a circle of admirers, cronies and friends which he "nurtures and cultivates" in order to obtain Narcissistic Supply from them. He overvalues them (they are the brightest, the most loyal, with the biggest chances to climb the corporate ladder and other superlatives).
But following some anti-narcissistic behaviours on their part (a critical remark, a disagreement, a refusal, however polite, all constitute such behaviours) – the narcissist devalues all these previously over-valued individuals. Now they are stupid, lack ambition, skills and talents, common (the worst expletive in the narcissist's vocabulary), with an unspectacular career ahead of them. The narcissist feels that he is misallocating his resources (for instance, his time). He feels besieged and suffocated. He rebels and erupts in a serious of self-defeating and self-destructive behaviours, which lead to the disintegration of his life.
Doomed to build and ruin, attach and detach, appreciate and depreciate, the narcissist is predictable in his Death Wish. What sets him apart from other suicidal types is that his wish is granted to him in small, tormenting doses throughout his anguished life.
Rebecca Webber’s “The Real Narcissist,” explains how narcissism is often mischaracterized to label people we find unfavourable or happen to upset us, when it is actually a trait that helps a person view themselves in more positive light. She uses a clear, persuasive voice and takes an ethical approach with logical explanations to help distinguish the differences between healthy narcissism and pathological narcissism, and the potential causes of the actual disorder. Referring to certified experts and real-life, situational examples to assist her claims, Webber does an adequate job in solidifying her points. However, as she progresses through her article, she only relies on professionals to speak on the behalf of narcissists, without considering to use the
Upon hearing the word “narcissist”, many people may come to mind--from the original Narcissus to celebrities, it is easy to characterize someone as narcissistic. However, the name Chris McCandless is extremely unlikely to be the primary response to this question. A determined and intelligent young adult, McCandless died in the Alaskan wilderness at just 24. A review of Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer mentions the unclear portrayal of McCandless being either an idealist or a narcissist. Yet, due to McCandless’ ambition and motivation, along with his ability to live life on his own terms, McCandless should be regarded a noble idealist rather than a reckless narcissist.
Healthy narcissism is a mature, balanced love of oneself coupled with a stable sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Healthy narcissism implies knowledge of one's boundaries and a proportionate and realistic appraisal of one's achievements and traits.10 This implies that a leader, like Stephen Harper for example may be is more likely a narcissist rather than psychopath. He knows his limits, and does not try and overachieve something that is not within reach, keeping a realistic view of the world but still seeing himself on top. Psychopaths rarely seek Narcissistic Supply. Pathological narcissism is wrongly described as too much healthy narcissism (or too much self-esteem).11 Yet, we often find that narcissists abandon their efforts in mid-stream,
The gradual collapse of autarchic fantasies in the child produces the “lesion in narcissism inflicted through passive submission” obviously because a child is helpless without muscles and mobility. Thus, as an adult, there is this “unconscious repetition compulsion” to restore the narcissistic break at birth, plus multiple other “breaks” as a child, adolescent and adult. Based on personality type, some overcome and become the adult guardian for their “inner child;” others are emotionally scarred by their families, friends, classmates and fellow employees and are repeatedly trying to figure out “why.” However, the genesis began at
He prefers his image – with which he identifies to his True Self. The narcissist is not tuned exclusively to his needs. He ignores them because many of them conflict with his image. He does not put himself first he puts his self last. He caters to the needs and wishes of everyone around him because he craves their love and admiration. It is thro...
When one speaks of narcissism, often the image of a self-absorbed and self-aggrandizing, but overly sensitive person comes to mind. Some features of a narcissistic personality may make it seem like having confidence, however, it crosses the border from healthy confidence to putting yourself on a pedestal. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) people who suffer from the pathological form of narcissism, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), possess an exaggerated sense of importance, believe they are superior or special, expect special treatment, and/or set goals based on obtaining approval from others. The criteria for NPD includes a sense of entitlement, lack of empathy, and a need for personal gain
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental disorder that is considered to be an impairment in personality functioning, the presence of pathological traits, lack of empathy for others and a need for admiration. This type of personality disorder has some related disorders such as antisocial behaviors, interpersonal exploitation and envy. According to Luo, Cai, & Song (2014), “Narcissism refers to a kind of abundant self-love, characterized by a series of characteristic including self-desire for admiration, fantasies of superiority, hypersensitivity to criticism, exploitation of people, and lack of empathy for others” (p. 1). There have been ongoing discussions on how this type of behavior is processed in the brain. It is not clearly known
In Jean Twenge’s novel titled, “Generation Me”, she describes “Generation Me” as a group of self-obsessed, overconfident, assertive, miserable individuals. “Gen-Me” cares about what other people think so much they 'll go to great lengths to “impress” their peers. Self-obsession can be viewed as a sickness of the mind. The average person may be oblivious to the fact that 1 out of 6 people are narcissists. “Narcissism falls along the axis of what psychologists call personality disorders, one of a group that includes antisocial, dependent, histrionic, avoidant and borderline personalities. But by most measures, narcissism is one of the worst, if only because the narcissists themselves are so clueless.” - Jefferey Kluger
An individual who suffers from narcissistic personality disorder will often always seem pleased with themselves no matter what. These people adopt the mindset that they are great and there exists no one like them and there is no one that can ever match the talents that they have. An example of a person that would suffer from narcissistic personality disorder could be described as an African American or Hispanic male, who falls in the age range of 15-24 year...
Firstly, what is exactly narcissism? The word ‘narcissism’ was derived from an ancient Greek myth of Narcissus. Narcissus was depicted as a handsome young man who adored his looks very much. Many young maidens fell in love with him but he criticizes them for being too ugly for him. One day, he fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. However, he accidentally drowned himself as he tried to touch his reflection. Hence, the word ‘narcissism’ is usually depicted as a personality that reflects excessive of self-love on oneself. Individuals who are narcissistic are usually described as somebody who is selfish, snobbish or proud. This is because narcissistic individual processes information obtained differently than others. They believe that they deserve more than others since they think they are more superior in every aspect. Due to their sense of grandiosity, they will do anything in order t...
The only person the narcissist will ever pity or feel sorry for is him/herself. If the narcissist believes he/she can get away with doing something (even if it's illegal, immoral, or will hurt someone), he/she will do it. At different times, many high profile individuals are classified as a narcissist in the media. The movie “The Wolf Of Wall Street” demonstrates how a rapid success leads to the narcissistic behavior. “Feel good” holiday movies, usually focus on traditional family values of heroism whereas Martin Scorsese in his film “The Wolf of Wall Street,” does the opposite. The movie focus on lavish life of Jordan but it was a true satire for an individual exploring quick fortune and shortcut of getting rich. Although many critics argue that “The Wolf of Wall Street” focuses mostly on the greed of Belfort, his extravagant luxurious lifestyle and portrayal of women as sex toys and leaves viewer with no moral message, I would disagree, as the film does delivers a moral message that rapid success can cause an individual to develop narcissistic behavior, which eventually leads to destruction and the financial message that will be helpful in investments business.
Robbins & Judge (2009) describe narcissism as an individual “who has a grandiose sense of self-importance, requires excessive admiration, has a sense of entitlement, and is arrogant.” Poet Tony Hoagland brought up a valid observation in the textbook about the American culture
There are many different things that I take into consideration when it comes to parenting. Parents have many different responsibilities but there are three in particular that I think are very important. Being a good role model is important, as well as listening to your children and disciplining them appropriately. If you want to be a good parent you have to put your kids first.