To resolve this situation I told my parents about it one month into it. My religious guilt seems to be linked with my parents’ approval so if they knew about my sins, I somehow felt better. They forbid me from continuing the relationship because of the war between our country and her country.
I made believe that I agreed with them. Secretly, however, I continued to see this girl for three years. This built more guilt on me and eventually I had to solve this too by coming clean with her and her parents about what my parents think of the whole situation. This offended them and resulted in our separation. Although I told them this halfway through the first year of dating her, it took us almost two whole years to break up.
The strange thing about our relationship is that we both knew that our countries were at war but we chose to ignore it. As Tuana puts it, “ignorance should not be theorized as a simple omission or gap but is, in many cases, and active production” (766). We actively told ourselves that the war between our countries does not bother us, but right before our breakup we found out that we were both either lying or in denial. This is because we admitted to each other that it had been bothering us but we were both repressing it.
What attracted us to each other may have been base on pure sexuality because we did not resp...
... middle of paper ...
...In my opinion, being blunt in many situations can be helpful. It is also important, however, to consider the person’s feelings and phrase the words in a manner appropriate to their character and personality. After all, being truthful and insensitive are two completely different things.
By being frank with someone and not leading them on, their dignity may be protected. Especially because when you love someone you let down your walls and allow yourself to be vulnerable to them. Also, you prevent them from making decisions based on your relationship with them. For example, I made a decision when I was dating this girl that was based solely on the possibility that we would be together forever. When that didn’t happen, I regretted my decision. Being truthful is essential to creating a society where smart decisions are made and life planning does not result in regrets.
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