Women 's Influence On Women

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While growing up, the external social cues were that women needed to be taken care of and that while a job was nice, the family should be the highest of importance in a woman’s life. That was not the dominant theme in my family narrative. A prevalent theme throughout the generations in my family is that women are independent to the point of being ruthless. In addition, marriage is not always forever is another theme that accompanies women are independent. Additionally, women were not always the primary caregiver for the family; men often contributed as caregivers to the children. Women in my family hold the power in the system, starting with Lucille. She was the matriarch of the family until she died at 104. I could not fully explain the culture of my family without describing my great grandmother. She was the definition of resilience and survived a lot in her life. She outlived her generation and the one below her and still maintained her position in the family. Lucille was the brain of our family. She kept us as a family through rules and expectations but not through love. We maintained the traditions of our family when she was alive because it was required, not because we desired it. When she passed, the final link that kept us in contact broke, and now I am estranged from the majority of my mother’s brothers and sisters. The opposite of Lucille was my grandmother, Ethel. She was the heart of my family. When I ponder about who are my people, I recall her and my grandfather, Leo. They held the traditions of the family through love and acceptance. The social class and hierarchy did not play out in their home or in how they treated us as a family. They allowed us to be who we were without inflicting... ... middle of paper ... ...had no control over his addiction, and he did not choose it over his family. It controlled him and every day that he did not drink was a day that he fought arduously and won. Although there would be days, he would fight very hard and loose. That realization did not change the relationship between my father and I, but it brought some closure. Nevertheless, it helped me further understand what an addict experiences and how laborious it can be. I am able to bring that understanding to therapy and validating every day my client fights, not just the days they win. I apply this philosophy to everyone I meet because I feel at times we are all fighting something in our lives, and we need people to support the efforts, not just the results. As a therapist, I am there to help guide and recognize the efforts my clients are producing not always the times when they succeed.

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