Sibling Relationships

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Sibling Relationships "I had it first." "No I did." "You always have to get your own way." "Mom, he's hurting me." "You deserved it 'cause you started it." Does any of this sound familiar in your home? It is natural and normal for siblings to be rivals. The wish of every child is to be the sole recipient of the parent's love and attention. When siblings fight, they are usually seeking to be the most loved child. "Sibling rivalry is the fighting that occurs between children as they compete for the attention of their parents" (Faber & Mazlish, 1). Children can be extremely tireless in their abilities and intensity when it comes to conflict with their siblings. They can be masters at fighting and at pulling their parents into the fight (1). "The fighting that siblings engage in can actually be an important process for them to go through. They will learn to take risks, negotiate, and assert themselves with people they trust" (2). There is probably no more intense relationship than the sibling bond, except the bond between child and parent. "Powerful feelings of both love and hate alternate, often swiftly, and brothers and sisters have to learn in their earliest years to control these intense feelings" (1). The full range of human emotions first begins on the sibling scene, especially during the early years. The home is the setting in which both the most powerful ties of love are formed, and the deepest hatreds boil (1-2). "The sibling slowly learns to accept both violent and loving desires. Siblings may either help each other to accept the inherent difficulties of life or destroy each other's capacity to adjust to the demands of parents and society" (2). "It is important to realize that the majority of sibling fighting... ... middle of paper ... ...lousy. To understand the sibling relationship is to accept that we all possess feelings of love and hate. It is a matter of love being stronger than hate so we can get along with others and feel self-esteem. When siblings fight, they are usually seeking to be the most loved child. Bibliography: Biagetti 8 Works Cited Bode, Janet. Truce: Ending the Sibling War. New York: Franklin Watts, 1991. Cohen, Shari. Coping With Sibling Rivalry. New York: Rosen Publishing Group, Inc., 1989. Faber, Adele & Mazlish, Elaine. "Parents' Bookshelf." Siblings Without Rivalry. May 1996. http://www. (November 23). Freeman, Lucy & Strean, Herbert S. Raising Cain. New York, New York: Facts on File Publications, 1988. McCaffrey, Raymond. "Fights Among Sibs Go With Turf." The Gazette. 4 March 1998: Pp. E4-5.
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