She Is My Mother

Gloom and the dread that followed Valarie into the house, which caught Samuel’s attention.

Valarie moved in slow motion, every thing had slowed down.

She fixed herself the best she could and walked into the lounge.

Valarie knew he had called her but she felt the need to enquire of him.

‘Did you call me? ‘I was wondering if you’re okay.’ He turned towards her only to see her grey pale face starring back at him. He moved closer to her, but not enough to touch her. He could see her anxiety and distress. He wanted to get closer still but she stepped back and turned from his peering eyes, asking multiple questions at once. He retreated slightly, enough to reassure her. She did not want him to intrude but she knew she had to release the build up that was taking place.

Valarie could not stop herself from withdrawing, she had done it for so long, that despite her need to talk she found it difficult. She wanted to stop herself, let him hear her, know her fears, but familiar can act as a barrier preventing change. It felt easy to slip into what she knew and was used to, despite the call of desperation beckoning to her.

Times before Samuel would have been very cautious about responding to her signals. But how could he not respond now?

Memories of the time when she took to her bed rushed to his nerve endings, sending sensations all over his body. The fear regrouping in him met the fear clothing Valarie’s face, in fact her whole body. His retreat would be temporarily this time; he slowly walked towards her again, “Valarie let me help you, I need to know that you’re going to be okay”.

Valarie held her hands in her face; she made the mistake of closing her eyes. She was back in the hospital, her cries turned to sobs and sobs tur...

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... at the same time she needed her children.

The family had met and talked about how they could best support her. Initially she did not mind the support however after a while she started refusing help and kept sending people away.

Poor Celia, she had blamed herself for the accident and no one could tell her differently, hard as they tried. She missed Jerry beyond words and caring for the twins was very demanding. It was not long before she turned to the bottle and any medication that she could take to try and ease the pain. She spent longer in bed and could not cope with two crying babies. It was Leah who had got so concerned that she broke into the house when Celia refused to open the door. She was so shocked at what she found; there was no question that she was having a breakdown.

The twins returned to Leah and Pete and Celia returned to the mental hospital.