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Adolescent behavior in society
How social interactions affect children
How social interactions affect children
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Growing up there were these unspoken “rules” that young boys had to live by and have to continue to live by these “rules” as we go about our lives. Growing up if you were to break one of these “rules” it would most likely draw negative attention to yourself and you could quite possibly have some harsh consequences to face in the near future. To be honest, I’m not all that sure how these “rules” came to be or how they get passed down from generation to generation but they’re very much apart of our society so a vast majority of men know of these “rules” and abide by them very closely.
In the beginning of “How Boys Become Men” Jon Katz kicks off his writing explaining how he once saw two boys walking home from school. One of the boys was trying to hit the other boy in the head with his backpack. After a while the other boy finally allowed the blow to happen, probably to show just how tough he was. After this hooking into to Katz’s writing he goes on to this “rules” that men must abide by and what happened to him as a boy when he
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Since then I haven’t been punished that badly from the water but that thought will always be plastered in the back of my mind. I think that there is solely one reason why I continue to go tubing with my friends and that would be peer pressure. A Scholastic article titled, “Peer Pressure: Its Influence on Teens and Decision Making” talks about the affects of peer pressure and why teenagers are so susceptible to it. In one portion of the reading a scientist named Laurence Steinberg did some research on peer pressure. In his findings he said “During early adolescence in particular, teenagers are drawn to the immediate rewards of a potential choice and are less attentive to the possible risks. Second, teenagers in general are still learning to control their impulses, to think ahead, and to resist pressure from others” (para
Boys are influenced by many of their coaches in life; brothers and fathers telling them they must be tough and show no pain, teachers who expect them to work hard at everything they do, and in the back of their minds are their mothers who worry about them over extending and getting hurt. Kimmel asked a few men in their 20’s, “where do young men get these ideas” (the Guy Code), they all gave the same answers: their brothers, fathers, and coaches. One mentioned that his father would always be riding him, telling him that he must be tough to make it in this world, another said his brothers were always ragging on him, calling him a “pussy” because he didn’t want to go outside and play football with them. He just wanted to stay in and play Xbox. Yet another said that whenever he got hurt his coach would mock and make fun of him because he was showing his feelings. The world is a very competitive for men, they believe they must always prove themselves to other men. Men get pressured into doing things they don’t want to do. Men shouldn’t be pressured they should be able to do what they want to
Men who feel they have to follow these four rules have points to prove and expectations to fill. How often do we hear of young boys getting bullied for not being manly enough (Although I am not sure how manly a boy in first grade is suppose to be), or getting judged and hassled by others, even family members, for showing emotion. Although more accepted now than in the past because of boys that identify as gay or transgendered, it is still very rare that you see a male disobeying these so called rules.
In an excerpt from his book, Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men, which was first published in 2008, sociologist Michael Kimmel shows us how the teaching of masculinity in America begins to form at a very young age and goes far into adulthood. He focuses on how boys are molded from a young age to be men, by forms of harassment, teasing, and peer pressure from parents, relatives, friends, teachers, and society. In this specific essay, Kimmel explains the pressures young boys experience and the expectations as they grow into manhood. Kimmel vividly describes men who are pressured by their own peers to prove their masculinity. Furthermore, there is a relentless sense of having to show ones ' 'manly ' ' behavior. Masculinity is expected, and needs to be shown in-front of others at all times. For most men, being able to do
The idea that teenage boys should act a certain way towards females is usually instilled in them at a young age. According to Devor, “ Femininity must be expressed through modes of… action which communicate weakness, dependency, ineffectualness, availability for sexual or emotional service, and sensitivity to the needs of others” (Devor 6-7). In other words, men have to place women on a lower pedestal because of a woman’s so called “needs” (Devor 6). The “needs” that women express are feminine characteristics. The characteristics of females listed by Devor, does not show any sign of power or dominance. Since society believes gender is a patriarchy, females have no influence and need attention. This shows that men adjust their actions around women, since they believe that women need special attention. Furthermore, if a male possesses anything non-masculine,
Boys have to hide their true selves and feelings to fit in, but in society expect men to be both tough and gentle, and be able to express their feeling, try to not hide behind the mask. Regardless, masculinity is an unrealistic expectation of men. Who cares what others think as long as they be their true self. It is apparent through my though that this essay is a good source to research or write an essay and can be teach. This essay helps parents learn more about their children feeling and grow into manhood to become real men.
Jackson Katz is the founder of Mentors in Violence Prevention which is an education program that has been focused on military and sporting organizations in attempts to put a halt on gender violence. Other than being an educator, Katz is also an author and filmmaker. In 2013, he produced the film Tough Guise 2. In this film, Katz reviews the normalization of male jurisdiction in America. The film looks at the messages of gun violence, sexism, and bullying that are sent to men throughout their entire life. Tough Guise 2 argues the statement that male brutality is a rooted back to our cultural standards of manhood. A pivotal point of the film is that a male’s masculinity is not just handed to them, it must be earned. During the course of the film, this point is supported by examples such as gun violence, homophobic messages and mass shootings.
Boys think that they must put on a persona that they are tough and no one can hurt them. I agree with the author that the boys are forced to hide their emotions and fears that’s why men become insensitive. Because the most important factor of how boys become tough men is how adults treat and teach them differently from girls. The boys start hearing messages that they need to be strong and tough from adults since they are just babies. I think this is the main problem that causes men to be insensitive and emotionalist. However, it is their parents, society, and everyone around them who affect the boys to become the men that they should be. If people treat boys same as how they treat the girls, I guess men will act the same way as
Us girls feel personally attacked by the dress code policies simply because even if so much as a centimeter of skin from under our jeans, or a portion of my bra strap is showing we get sent to the office and we are given the lecture of needing to keep a better image of ourselves, and being more conservative about our bodies. Well from coming from a girl's perspective, we feel like we have to bow down to the boys just because they think inappropriate thoughts if any part of a girls skin is showing. Well, we have society and adults to thank for this simply because when boys are caught doing something they aren't supposed to do or watch something they are not supposed to be watching, adults simply say, “Oh boys will be boys.”. Now adults have conditioned boys to think that thinking these thoughts is a way of life and that it is okay to think them just because they are boys. God made us girls the way we are for a reason, why are we letting guys discriminate us women in such a way that we basically have to dress like a boy in order to keep them from thinking these sinful
Each gender is separated by untold rules or guidelines that they must abide by. This in turn creates inner tensions that inhibit personal growth. For males this may be, or is, an extraordinarily arduous task. More often than not it is other male figures, such as the father, that administer and enforce these certain rules. The most common of these rules include the fact that boys cannot cry, and if he does, he is considered to be acting like a girl, and therefore made fun of. Those mere statements may compel boys to set aside their emotions, in other words, to put them “on the back burner.” This could affect the child's effort to grow, and also create problems with the ability to understand their emotions as well as others. Traditionally boys are prohibited to do anything that is immensely feminine, such as ballet or dance. Even though these both are advertised primarily for girls, boys are included in these activities. For instance, in the movie called Billy Elliot, there is a boy struggling between his love for dance, and his fathers expectations of him. Billy's father wants him to continue with his boxing classes (though ...
If a man possesses the masculinity that society claims he should have, he may still experience many emotional issues within himself. After a man has been taught that domination is the key, they may develop a sense of aggression. Aggression may also follow the fact they men hold all of their feelings into to protect themselves from the schemas. Men have been seen to use violence in their past to solve their issues. In the documentary, one of the prisoners in the group session spoke about how he was in jail because all of his emotions that had been bottled up become uncontrollable in one instance. If a boy or a man does not contain the masculinity expected, he may become bullied and out-casted. The continuation of discrimination toward a boy may cause suicidal thoughts. On top of being bullied for not being a powerful man, he may still be trying to hold in his emotions to prove that he
Society typically excuses most behavioral-related slips ups among boys with the saying that “boys will always be boys”. However, if a girl were to commit the exact same mistake, nearly every bystander would be taken aback in shock. For example, Lewis describes an instance in which his three year old swore to an older boy who was teasing her sister (655). Lewis described this outburst as an occurrence that caused “all hell to break lose”, with parents stunned as to what they have just witnessed (655). On the contrary, if a boy were to act in a similar fashion observers would most likely overlook the situation, excusing it for ‘typical behavior among boys’. The general public considers swearing among boys to be socially acceptable, but if it were to be done by a female regardless of age it would be considered ‘improper’ and the female would be deemed as ‘ill brought up’. This difference between the socialization of young boys and girls creates a divide in the aspect of how children are brought up and expected to behave.
‘Boys will be boys’, a phrase coined to exonerate the entire male sex of loathsome acts past, present, and potential. But what about the female sex, if females act out of turn they are deemed ‘unladylike’ or something of the sort and scolded. This double standard for men and women dates back as far as the first civilizations and exists only because it is allowed to, because it is taught. Gender roles and cues are instilled in children far prior to any knowledge of the anatomy of the sexes. This knowledge is learned socially, culturally, it is not innate. And these characteristics can vary when the environment one is raised in differs from the norm. Child rearing and cultural factors play a large role in how individuals act and see themselves.
It is tragic to hear the anguished cry of parents: "What have we done to harm him? Why doesn't he care about anything? He is a bright boy, but why does he fail to pass his examination? Why won't he talk to us?" A remarkable and absorbing novel, J. D. Salinger's "The Catcher in the Rye," may serve to calm the apprehensions of fathers and mothers about their own responsibilities, though it doesn't attempt to explain why all boys who dismay their elders have failed to successfully pass the barrier between childhood and young manhood.
The problem, as I see it, is that we have not re-defined masculinity for the modern age. In the old days, masculinity was measured by (1) physical abilities, particularly strength, but also skill, (2) power/success/wealth, and (3) sexual prowess. The first can be developed through education and hard work, the second could be acquired through the application of the first, and the third, well, either you got it or you don't, but locker-room bragging can always make up for any lacks, especially if you got the first two. Boys growing up in such a society work to develop their physical abilities and learn how to apply them most efficaciously, thus becoming a "man". This makes sense when a man might be faced with the challenge of building shelter on the prairie or raising crops, but us modern urban men are unlikely to face such challenges. Of course, we are not unprepared for the challenges of a modern urban lifestyle. Our education generally provides such life-sustaining skills as linear algebra, the performing arts, and information systems management. The educational system is successful enough to allow most of us to get jobs that pay us enough to afford all the requirements of a modern urban lifestyle: housing, food, clothing, entertainment, transportation, etc. The trouble is that while education has more or less kept pace with the advance of civilization, our notions of masculinity have not.
As a child develops, their surroundings have a major influence on the rest of their lives; if boys are taught to “man up” or never to do something “like a girl”, they will become men in constant fear of not being masculine enough. Through elementary and middle school ages, boys are taught that a tough, violent, strong, in-control man is the ideal in society and they beat themselves up until they reach that ideal. They have to fit into the “man box” (Men and Masculinity) and if they do not fulfill the expectations, they could experience physical and verbal bullying from others. Not only are friends and family influencing the definition of masculine, but marketing and toys stretch the difference between a “boy’s toy” and a “girl’s toy”. Even as early as 2 years old, children learn to play and prefer their gender’s toys over the other gender’s (Putnam). When children grow up hearing gender stereotypes from everyone around them, especially those they love and trust like their parents, they begin to submit themselves and experience a loss of individuality trying to become society’s ideal. If everyone is becoming the same ideal, no one has a sense of self or uniqueness anymore and the culture suffers from