6 Midlife Sex Myths You Need to Know
There’s a common notion that sex in your 40s becomes dull and not as exciting as when you were younger. But the truth is that sex can even more satisfying during the crucial age, especially for women, because with all the years they’ve had they’ve gotten to know themselves better and what it really takes to please them.
Here are 6 midlife sex myths we hear all the time and why they’re myths in the first place:
1. Menopause kills sex drive
While estrogen and testosterone levels experience a drop during perimenopause and menopause stages, it doesn’t mean that a woman’s sex drive will just completely vanish. She won’t be in the mood as often as she was in her 20s or 30s, but her sexual interest remains, which is good enough to maintain a great sex life even in her 40s.
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Sex after menopause is painful
In women, this is called vaginal atrophy. This is when penetration becomes too painful that sex becomes a nightmare and discourages her from having sex again. As a matter of fact, about 67 percent of postmenopausal women encounter vaginal atrophy. Women who don’t have much sex are more prone to this condition since sexual intercourse increases blood flow to the vagina in order to help sustain healthy tissue.
Fortunately, this isn’t a hopeless case. There are many over-the-counter lubricants, moisturizers, or prescription estrogen cream that can revitalize the vagina to make sex pleasurable again.
4. It is harder to get orgasms
Even though 25 percent of women experience difficulty in reaching the big O, fewer than 5 percent are physically incapable to do so. So, it’s got nothing to do with the aging body. In fact, even when she hasn’t been able to get an orgasm before, it’s still not too late for her to experience an orgasm even in her present age. Hence, women even in their 40s still need passionate kissing, a gentle fondling of the breast, and direct clitoral stimulation because her long-awaited orgasm can still happen
First, it is important to distinguish the difference between sexuality and sensuality. When some people think of sexuality, the brain automatically thinks orgasms and penetration. But, when we think about sensuality, all of the senses become engaged. Touch, taste, smell, and feel can all become a form of foreplay. When you take foreplay or sensuality out of the equation, “couples have no way of intimately connecting unless they have sex” (Markman et al., 2010, p.272). This can introduce pressure to the sexual relationship which will also allow room for anxiety. “Numerous studies suggest that anxiety is the key inhibiting factor to arousal” (Markman et al., 2010, p. 277). There are two types of anxiety - performance anxiety and conflict. When a person is focusing soley on his or her performance, Markman et al., (2010) suggests that it puts “emotional distance between you and your partner. This kind of detachment can lead to the most common sexual problems that people experience” (p. 277). A few of these problems are difficulty having an orgasm, lack of erection or arousal, and pre-ejaculation. Conflict is the other source for anxiety. When a couple is arguing all the time and having trouble getting along, the desire for intimacy is lost. “It is important that you agree to keep problems and disagreements off-limits when you are being sensual or making love” (Markman et al., 2010, p. 278). If your partner has a complete lack of interest in sex, it can be a side effect of a hidden issue. It can be a stressful time at work, he or she could be depressed, drinking, or suffering from another type of illness that affect one’s sex drive. Try to figure out if it is health related, and if it is not, then look more at the
to any extent; so what if the man is 60 he still wants to have sex
Over the last century, the life expectancy of the elderly has increased. This means that the largest growing population right now, in the United States, is persons over the age of 65 (Sex Tips for Older Adults, 2000). With this in mind, it would be helpful to talk about the personal aspects or as I like to call it, "sex lives" of the elderly. When people in our society think of the elderly, they almost never think of this population having sex or good sex for that matter. But they do! Unfortunately, the elderly encounter problems with sex as they become older and that is what I will be discussing along with way of coping with sexual dysfunction.
When I was looking at the first sexual autobiography, Initially, I thought I had very little input in regards to sexuality. However, as a result of learning about sexuality through Sexing Shakespeare, I have learned that this is not the case. By learnings about Butler, Foucault, Bataile, and Freud, I have learned that my expression of sexuality is present in my being. An example of my sexuality being portrayed would be through the teachings of Judith Butler. Judith Butler states that an individual performs certain actions, then that person takes on a certain identity. Therefore, even though I have performed zero physical activity, as a result of not performing such an activity, I constitute the category of either a romantic or an asexual. Which category I belong to I am not sure of yet, and Judith Butler fails to clarify as to which category
A story listed in the Arts Section of the New York Times caught my eye most was the one regarding a discussion about three books that paint the big picture of the most commonly complicated thing we have to go through at certain points in our lives called finding true love, disappointment, and heartbreak. This story gave me instant physical and contextual appeal with a valid explanation of it simply being relevant in this point of my life, providing me with passion and thirst to apply myself to it, and expand on it. Beginning with its catchy title, “Date-Onomics,” “The Sex Myth” and “Modern Romance,”with its three unique and authentic book resources, and obviously being a
Many women in midlife feel that they have hit their stride and they feel confident and assertive, but often women can feel less attractive sometimes too. Physical development in midlife is a continuation of the gradual changes already underway in early adulthood. Middle age adults do beome much more aware of aging and there's more that can be done to promote physical valor and good health during midlife. 57 year old Janet teaches dance for children and adults. She has been teaching dance for the past 40 years now. Janet reflects on the aging process in her interview and states that she is very aware that her body has changed. Janet says when she was very young, she was more limber and she could bend all the way back and put her head against her rear end. She says she has lost some of her flexibility and it really makes her mad. she says, ''you see young dancers that can do all the jumps and I can't do the same anymore. It bothers me.'' She doesn't want to lose her physical and mental abilities and she says it's a fear that she is fighting. To stay healthy and maintain her good health, she says she reads Prevention magazing, does Chinese herbs, tries to eat healthy, doesn't drink coffee and she doesn't smoke or drink alcohol neither. She says, ''facing the reality of aging is difficult, but you have
When it comes to sex, some people seem to have more knowledge on the subject than others, and some people know way too much. One very intriguing aspect that is often taken for granted is the orgasm and it’s miraculous powers. This is a list of 10 fun facts on the subject.
Unlike sex, the history of sexuality is dependant upon society and limited by its language in order to be defined and understood.
For women who have started their families later in life, they could find themselves caring for teenagers, aging parents, and a husband in a mid-life crisis, all while entering the joys of menopause. Since several of the symptoms of menopause are irritability, confusion, depression and fatigue, more stress is not what women are needing at this point in their life.
...cases the pain may be chronic and severe. Most of the time, pain is relieved by taking anti-inflammatory drugs or other medications. Very rarely, an injection called a spermatic cord block can be used to deaden the pain temporarily. Vasectomy reversal is very rarely needed to relieve pain permanently. Very rarely, the cut ends of a tube grow back together. This most often happens within four months of the operation and may allow pregnancy to happen. Decreased sexual desire or an inability to have an erection occurs in 4 out of 1,000 cases. The most likely cause is emotional there is no physical cause for sexual dysfunction associated with vasectomy.
During middle adulthood biological and physical changes become apparent. During this time visual perception, hearing and the reproductive system decline. Adults who have never worn glasses or contact lenses may start needing visual correction (pg 424). During this time adults may also need more light to see than their younger friends (pg 424). During middle adulthood individuals, more commonly men, develop a lower sensitivity to high pitch sounds (pg 424). This is the reason why individuals during this stage find it more difficult to hear and interpret other voices.(pg 424). The female reproductive system starts to decline, slowly ending in menopause. The decline in the circulation of estradiol, the primary hormone of estrogen, causes many differences in reproductive health. During middle age pubic hair thins, there are changes in vaginal chemistry, and the labia begins to thin and wrinkle (pg 424). The chemical changes within the vagina cause dryness and a greater likelihood of infections (pg 424). For men, the decrease in testosterone during middle age is only small however the decrease causes lower bone density and loss of muscle m...
As individuals age they will come to a point in their lives where they are considered to be in middle adulthood. According to Zastrow and Kirst-Ashman (2016), middle adulthood is the range from 30-60 which involves physical and health changes (p. 477). Some individuals may take this time to reflect on their lives and be happy will all of the things they have done and look forward to what is still to come and there may be others who feel that should have changed things or even may experience a “midlife” crisis. AllPsychologyCareers website (2016) states, “Midlife crisis is a time of great emotional upheaval, anxiety, and drastic changes in behavior (para. 13). Middle adulthood can be a time of contentment or even regret.
Men and women are sexual beings. Even though they both have different genitalia they both are going through the same four stages of the sexual response cycle. When there is a break in the cycle because of a sexual dysfunction, it is important to seek out help instead of ignoring it because it can potentially lead to the relationship falling apart.
Sexual deviance is any behavior with a sexual act that goes against the expectations of the society in which the act was performed. To be considered deviant, there are usually consent issues, the people or things involved create a deviant combination, the specific sexual act and anatomy is outside the realm of socially acceptable, or the place involved is unacceptable (Ritzer, 2007). In American society, it appears according to media accounts, billboard advertisements, and daily observation of the people passing by, sex is bought, sold, and traded in the open market; however, just because we see it everywhere, does not mean that it is socially acceptable. As we learned in the Tittle and Paternoster (2000) article, indiscretion is the deviance
...elf into the Interactionism theory. How we age sexually determines the amount of affection we need to feel from others to feel desirable. This relates to more than just elderly people it is a constant factor in every day life.