Maintaining a Healthy Relationship

Maintaining a Healthy Relationship

For the past four months I have been in my most promising relationship, yet. But sometimes things go nuts and it feels like there is nothing I can do about it. So I thought I would check out what goes into a healthy relationship. I found a variety of qualities, but I’ll keep it simple. Remember the 4 C’s. You must be courageous, care enough, communicate effectively, and be creative. Once you get these down, your relationship will be deemed healthy, by the relationship gods.

In an effort to overcome his fear of rejection, Jonathan Robinson (2001), a psychotherapist and frequent guest on Oprah, decided to plow right through his fear. He gave his friend $50 dollars and told him to keep it until he came back with ten rejections from girls. His first attempt proved fairly pathetic. His prospective date asked him if he needed an ambulance. Shaking and sweating, Jonathan proceeded to ask her and the next five girls out. With each rejection, he knew more of what to expect. Then he got a yes, followed by eight more. He realized the key to overcoming one’s fear of rejection was to set it up so that getting rejected was seen as a success. If this sounds too scary or difficult, you’re probably a good candidate for it (1).

So the next time you’re out, go for it. What have you got to lose, but a single, lonely life? Now you have a date, but how do you make it last? For starters you can continue being that courageous person you know you are.

I Date Smart.com (2001), a website featuring Shari, a columnist on love, contains all kinds of information on being a good mate. “Men, you are heroes. Accept nothing less from a woman than being “her hero.”” Another expert writes, “Growth demands a temporary surrender of security” (1). When we become involved with someone we have to open our hearts to them, making us vulnerable. It takes an incredible amount of courage, but true love gives you real happiness in your life.

I care about my girlfriend so much; I let us become friends for a while. She needed time to adjust to a big move and did not want the added stress of a boyfriend. I had to be understanding and supportive or I would lose her. As difficult as it was, I would do it all over again, if she asked me to.