Recent studies have revealed that relationships/marriages fail significantly due to the main
reasons such as finical issues, trust issues, and communication.
In society today all people try to find love, someone to be their soul mate, someone
they wish to spend the rest of their life with and feel happy.
Unfortunately it does not seem to work out that way most of the time, there are a few
key reason’s to why that is.
This essay will explain all the important key’s to remember in your marriage/relationship
so you can have a happy successful life.
Mary Mendel writes, “NEXT TO HAVING CHILDREN, getting married is
perhaps the most important event in anyone’s life. But for many men and women, what
began as a promising ( relationship all too frequently break down.”
(Mary Mendel, 20)
1. Communication
Communication plays a big role in marriage/relationships, If you cannot
communicate with your spouse about certain issues you feel you have then you will get
nowhere, it is best to try and talk about thing’s instead of turning it into a argument
.
Everything leads back to communication.
Mary Mendel writes, “ A good marriage takes a lot of work on the part of both
In this essay, the author
Opines that in society today all people try to find love, someone to be their soul mate.
Opines that unfortunately it doesn't seem to work out that way most of the time.
Opines that for many men and women, the most important event in their lives is the wedding.
Opines that they would not be in the best business if they didn't believe that the way we look at love and love is flawed.
Explains that if a spouse is spending too much or not working at all, try to come to an agreement.
Explains how to split everything up evenly so it is fair from both sides.
Explains that even the marriage course an eight-session a video study produced by the people who put together.
Explains that instead of admitting i've gained weight, we assume he thinks i’m fat, or he’s ogling.
Opines that instead of i'm disappointed that i don't earn more, we think she's out late helping that.
Opines that one-down feeling can lead us to try to regain the advantage by behaving in a positive manner.
Opines that a small item from the store on the way home from work can be useful, even if it is small.
Recommends telling your spouse you love them every night before falling asleep, and never go to bed.
Opines that it is a good thing to think something through before starting an argument.
Opines that if you can have good communication, trust, and respect for each other, you should be successful.
Opines that issues can be resolved if you love your spouse and respect them.
Explains that marriage/relationships are earned not given, and the more you put in, the better it will turn out.
Advises to try and talk about things with your spouse instead of turning it into an argument.
Opines that a good marriage requires work on the part of both partners, and both need to be in agreement that they will do the necessary work.
Reports that one in three first marriages end in divorce within 10 years, but their paths to breaking up differ, clinical psychologist justin lavner of ucla reported jan 29.
Explains that trust is something most people have a hard time gaining due to the fact of false hope.
Advises couples to trust their spouses if they feel like they are hiding something, tell them they're feeling, and let them know how their actions are making them feel.
Recommends keeping a journal to track your daily "wins" and positive attributes.
Opines that if you are passing by your partner, stop them and give them a random hug or kiss, this can make them feel happy.
Opines that it is a good thing to just bite your tongue and walk away from an argument that may start up, instead of coming back at your spouse with hurtful words.
Advises people to live every single day as if it were their last day with their spouse.
Recommends taking time out with your spouse, whether it’s going out to dinner and a movie, or just movie night at home, alone time.
Analyzes medland, mary, strathdee, mike, bower, bruce, and mcintosh, claire.
SUMMARY
In the book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999) John M. Gottman provides insight on the seven fundamental tools to construct positive relationships. Through long years of research, Gottman studied married couples and noted degenerative behaviors that hindered the formation and attainment of a long and healthy marriage. Gottman research focused on several key behavioral predictors of divorce, which he calls the “The Four Horsemen”; Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
In this essay, the author
Explains that john m. gottman's book, the seven principles for making marriage work, provides insight on the seven fundamental tools to construct positive relationships.
Explains that john m. gottman's book, the seven principles for making marriage work, helped understand the dynamic within their marriage.
Analyzes how gottman's seven principles for making marriage work provides a comprehensible and attainable framework that can be useful both professionally and personally.
Explains that gottman's book has provided insight on how to accomplish a godly and purposeful marriage.
In Jill McCorkle's short story “Snakes”, it is said that “a marriage that never takes a dive is like skimming the surface of life … sooner or later you have to suit up and dive to the bottom” (McCorkle 167). The meaning being that no marriage is going to travel the high road the entire time, and if one is, it won't have much depth. The statement made in “Snakes” is very true. A marriage needs to have its ups and downs to be balanced. There are many themes explored in the stories of Jill McCorkle's Creatures of Habit: Stories. The theme of marriage is addressed in both “Snakes” and “Chickens”, and it is enhanced by symbolism.
In this essay, the author
Analyzes how jill mccorkle's short story "snakes" states that a marriage that never dives is like skimming the surface of life. it needs to have its ups and downs to be balanced.
Analyzes how "snakes" is focused around the marriage of a middle-aged couple. the couple hit the dark patch in their relationship, called "the dark ages".
Analyzes how lisa rushed into marrying alan after a bad breakup with her long-term boyfriend, randy, because alan was everything that randy wasn't. lisa used alan to escape back to the surface.
Analyzes how jill mccorkle placed an immense emphasis on symbolism in her collection of stories found in creatures of habit: stories.
Analyzes how jill mccorkle used the theme of marriage and symbolism in the short stories "snakes" and "chickens".
An individual will be complete only if he/she finds a perfect lover. Search behavior is propagated amongst individuals, leading to a feeling of
In this essay, the author
Analyzes how narcissus and pygmalion's love stories narrow the narrative about love and desire.
Opines that sexual relations between same-sex couples for satisfaction and pleasure are acceptable and a phenomenon designed by god.
Opines that an individual will be complete only if he/she finds a perfect lover. search behavior propagates amongst individuals, leading to restlessness.
Analyzes aristophanes' speech on love, narrated by plato, about the time when there were three different genders- man, woman, and androgynous.
Analyzes how aristophanes' speech shapes sexuality in a form where two males in relationships depict boldness, braveness and masculinity.
Schlessinger, L. (2007). The proper care & feeding of marriage. New York, NY: Harper Collins Publishers.
In this essay, the author
Explains that emotional attraction is reciprocity, which by definition has to do with a mutuality of some sort. the middle school drama scene illustrates this effect.
Explains that people tend to be more attracted to those who perceive to share interests and experiences with. similarity breeds contentment and gives a foundation to build relationships.
Explains that the social constructionism of attraction begins at a very young age and is complex and different for each individual.
Explains that the article "building a successful marriage" asks readers how the gospel helps them to strengthen their marriages. temple marriage is special, unlike any type of civil union.
Argues that social constructionism plays a role in physical attraction, and is key in emotional attraction.
Argues that a relationship should first be built on platonic love, since it must fit our intellectual and emotional needs. personality is an important factor in whether relationships last.
Explains that attraction is an intricate process which relies on many different factors. it is important to find the balance of physical and emotional attraction in order to construct healthy relationships.
Describes delamater, hyde, edwards, gangestad, hafen, m., and schlessinger, l.
The author’s Ethos is a far cry from traditional perspective and expectancy; the posture through his language was deviant and very off guard. Where any traditional wife finds sadness, Mary Alice finds relief, and the way that he depicts this contrast portrays his perception of marriage and culture. I believe that Bethune is a strong believer of the theory that distance amends and strengthens relationships. His tone and
In this essay, the author
Analyzes how herbert bethune's the burglar created a significant contrast between blacks and african-americans in mary alice.
Analyzes how bethune's ethos is a far cry from traditional perspective and expectancy; the posture through his language was deviant and off-guard. he believes that distance amends and strengthens relationships.
Analyzes the romanticization and integration of african american culture into american pop culture in kanye west's music and the jazz age/roaring twenties.
Analyzes bethune's response to the problem of mary alice’s marriage and the actual burglary. he wants us to experience irony alongside the text.
Analyzes how ian frazier's take the f was to sell brooklyn to his readers by capturing his favorite places, parks, bridges, and gardens.
Analyzes how leni riefenstahl sensationalizes germany in order to appeal to certain audiences. frazier was accurate in his depiction of brooklyn but the manner in which he nonchalantly explains unpleasant situations implies that brooklyn is beautiful.
Analyzes how frazier wants us to see how beautiful brooklyn is despite popular misconceptions. perception is key in identifying a particular thing.
The idea of finding a "soul mate" never resonated with me and the concept seemed flighty and unrealistic. For me love has always meant finding a life partner and building a satisfying relationship on mutual trust, respect and friendship, I use to think that love was a choice.
In this essay, the author
Opines that the idea of finding a "soul mate" never resonated with them and the concept seemed flighty and unrealistic.
Explains that the first time they met him, their heart felt as though they had met before. it was a magnetic energy, an intuitive knowing and everything felt right.
Narrates how they felt a raw, destabilizing, and irrational connection with their soul mate, who had the ability to love them or break them.
Opines that when they settled into the wow, they saw the beauty, the rarity, and eventually the clarity. the flow and rhythm seemed guided by something much higher.
Analyzes how their soul mate was transient rather than permanent, with me temporarily showing me what i never knew existed and reminding me of things like drawing, painting, and writing.
Opines that letting go of him is among the hardest things they ever do, ignoring someone who brings incomparable happiness. letting him go means accepting defeat and the overwhelming process of starting all over again.
Explains that forgetting is the hardest part, how do i separate my life from his and continue without him?
Opines that the absence they feel is loss, grief comparable to death, maybe someday the love will be noting more than remnants, a vague deja vu but time will never change the fact that he existed.
Speculates that one day they will meet someone with the attributes that they love about him. maybe this person won't make them cry or leave them empty.
one’s whole life and future. Not only is it needed to live, but it determines who you will
In this essay, the author
Explains that money plays a crucial role in the book.
Analyzes how money plays a major role when bingley and darcy fall in love.
Explains that money is a necessity that is needed to survive in the world today. in pride and prejudice, it is the one element that determines one’s life and future.
Analyzes how mrs. bennet is trying to get her daughters married to good and wealthy men, since they will not inherit money from their father.
Analyzes how bingley's unmarried sister seeks to elevate herself by marrying people with more money than she already is.
Analyzes how the man proposes to elizabeth, but at the same time, he says it's against his better judgment, which makes jane angry and turns him down.
Explains that even though darcy loves elizabeth, money still plays a more important role. he feels that marrying her would bring him down and that she is inferior because she's not as wealthy as he is.
Analyzes how money plays a very important role in pride and prejudice. the entire society bases their whole life on status and wealth throughout the book.
lives. Many people search for hope, happiness and fulfillment when they should not be searching
In this essay, the author
Opines that society should let it come to them because what the find to fill their void may not be what they need.
Analyzes how thoreau explains that men go fishing all their lives without knowing it was wrong for them. one finds something that fills them with glee but may wear off over time.
Analyzes how man chooses a job to work all his life because he thought it was his happy doing. he never quits, even when the job is not meant for him something else.
I do not feel that everyone understands how important communication is in the relationship. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now, and we are purchasing our first house. This has been stressful for both of us. They do not teach you in school all that goes into purchasing a house. I am a full time student who only cleans one house for some extra money. My boyfriend is working at Good Year. We have had to communicate more to figure out the bills. We have had trouble communicating about this problem. I want to work some and go to school full time. Ryan wants me to focus on school but then I won’t have my own money to spend. I have enough money saved up to help with bills until August. However, I will then be out of money. I am that person who does not like people taking care of me, and I have tried to tell Ryan that I can work part time and go to school. The only thing is that it would be hard to work around my schedule. He is ok with me working two days a week, but who will hire someone for two days a week. I know he wants me to focus on school to graduate, go to graduate sch...
In this essay, the author
Explains that they have been with their boyfriend for 7 months, and they are purchasing their first house. they have had to communicate more to figure out the bills.
Explains that ryan and i have had trouble communicating about who pays for what for the new house. they have been working on communicating because it is important.
Narrates how they communicated with ryan about a roommate to lower their bill, but he changed his mind about another person living with them.
Opines that they communicate well with ryan, and they can't wait to learn more from this class about marriage.
Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. If the disposition of the parties are ever so well known to each, or ever so similar before hand it does not advance their felicity in the least (Austen 23).
In this essay, the author
Analyzes how charlotte's tactful use of the words "disposition" and "parties" makes marriage seem like a business transaction one of comfort not love.
Analyzes how charlotte's relationship with mr. collins is characterized by comfort and necessity.
Analyzes how austen's pride and prejudice explores the institution of marriage, as it was in her time, where many married for security rather than love.
Analyzes how the character of mr. collins educates the reader and charlotte and elizabeth's different views.
Analyzes how elizabeth and darcy are able to recognize each other's vices and their knowledge of these inadequacies makes them better people.