Hi Marcos Thesis

Hi Marcos,

1. I really enjoyed reading your draft. I think you have good examples that support what you have to say in your essay, and also how you organize your points is easy to follow and understand.

Base 1: Unity

1. Yes, there is a clearly stated thesis in the introductory paragraph, which said “The documentary uses respected women in a political stance or publicized figure…to draw out emotion from the viewers to side with their stance.” I think if the thesis statement is written in one or two sentences, it would be simpler to get your point.

2. Yes, all the supporting paragraphs back up the thesis. The examples are detailed, and they support the thesis well.

Base 2: Support

1. Yes, there is specific evidence. I like how you come up your idea with the explanation on how the author of the documentary uses various methods to support the issue.

Yes, there is plenty of it, and the supporting points are explained in sequence.

Base 3: Coherence

1. Yes, there is a clear method of organization. The three different points that you mention in the introductory paragraph are stated separately in each paragraph.

2. Yes, transitions are used to connect sentences and ideas, such as “Another aspect” or “Lastly.” I see various transitions that are used properly in your essay, and they help to connect your ideas well.

Base 4: Sentence Skills

1. I don’t think there are rough spots where the sentences do not flow smoothly and clearly, and most of them seem clear to understand, especially the body paragraphs.

2. I don’t see any mistakes in grammar, punctuation, or usage.

Overall, your draft seems great. I like how your points are stated clearly and explained smoothly according to the topic, and I also like how you have concluded your idea. Thank you.

Hi Ra,

I really enjoyed reading your draft. I like how you organize the points about your idea. Your explanation of what the author has to say in the documentary is easy to understand as