Gender, Gender And Gender Policing

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Before the day a baby is born in society it is subjected to being policed and “doing gender.” Whether it’s painting a room blue when parents find out that their child is male or buying dolls and kitchen utensils for their future girl, “doing gender” and gender policing is a norm in most societies. Most of these norms are based off institutions that create social structures in society, for example “back to school shopping” is considered a norm because it affirms the institution of education. However, because gender and “doing gender” is important in, there has been a creation of gendered institutions, which channels boys/men and girls/women into separate and often differently valued activities (Wade & Ferree, p. 167).
One of the gendered institutions is marriage. The institution of marriage has been around for a long time and has changed over time. However, the theme of marriage has remained the same that women were to marry men and wives are to help and serve their husbands, and anything else was a deviation from the norm.
When the colonist arrived the patriarch structure was enacted through land ownership, which was passed down from generation to generation. However it was only passed down through men, as women were not given rights and mainly viewed as property as well. Thus for women to secure a decent life, they needed a husband establishing a patriarch marriage (Wade & Ferree, p. 191-199).
Industrialization however destroyed what was then considered traditional marriage, as there was less property to own when living in the city. However instead of completely abandoning the idea of patriarch marriage, a new adaption of it was formed creating the idea of separate spheres. Thus creating the breadwinner/ housewife marriage w...

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...nce in the relationship. Trainer also states for him to “Know a few things to be her one and only in her life”. The problem with this statement is that she is saying that her husband cannot have any expectations of her, but she expects him to still carry out the same traditional role and be what she considers a gentleman, worthy of her love.
The song is also problematic because it adheres to idea of compulsory heterosexuality, which is the ideal that everyone is heterosexual and anyone else is rendered invisible. By the title being called “Dear Future Husband”, Trainer alienates anyone else who does not intend to be married or does not identify as heterosexual.
Trainer’s song “Dear Future Husband” is an example how institutions can influence the way people perpetuate stereotypes and sexist ideologies, which then starts the cycle of reinforcing gendered institutions
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