Understanding Gender Communication Differences: A Key to Lasting Love

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“Love is magical, and it can last, if we remember our differences” (Gray 14). Gender communication differences are very complex, yet somewhat remarkable. Dr. John Gray explains that it is as if men and women come from different planets. Unfortunately, many times men and women forget that they are supposed to be different (10). In addition to the biological natural differences between males and females, society treats and values each gender very differently, all of which plays a big part in how they communicate (Papadopoulos 2). Dr. Gray states, “When you remember that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, everything can be explained” (10). If a man and woman do not take the time to understand, respect, and become aware of their differences, …show more content…

Therefore, they can become demanding, resentful, judgmental, and intolerant of each other (13). However, when men and women learn to respect each other’s differences, they can live in tranquility (Tannen, Talking 40). Men and women react and behave differently when expressing difficult feelings, dealing with stress, and evaluating their self-worth. One of the most common and frequent complaints spouses have against each other is the inability to listen, especially when expressing difficult feelings (Papadopoulos 15). As it happens, women tend to be much more indirect than men in the area of communication, which causes much frustration and lack of understanding (Tannen, Talking 12). According to authors Alyn and Phillips, to be an effective listener, it is imperative that one must not only listen to the words that are spoken, but also to the way in which the words are spoken. Additionally, one should notice whether or not the nonverbal actions match the spoken words of the speaker (163). Nevertheless, Dr. John Gray explains how it is imperative to realize that these major mistakes …show more content…

When it comes to feelings of stress, men tend to pull away in order to think about what is bothering them (Gray 11). Every problem is dealt with differently, based on the severity of the stress. If a man is stressed over something really challenging, it is likely that he will disengage himself and spend time alone, looking to find a solution on his own, while doing something active such as racecar driving (30). If a friend or spouse’s assistance is necessary to solve the problem, he will talk the issue over with that person; otherwise, he will not involve anyone else in his difficulty. Studies show how many times when a man is searching for a solution, he will temporarily lose his awareness of everything other than the problem, become increasingly distant, forgetful, unresponsive, and preoccupied in terms of his relationship. If one is having a conversation with a stressed man, it will seem as if only 5% of his mind is involved with the discussion. Additionally, when going through the stress, it is likely that all other problems and responsibilities will fade into the background (31). In contrast, women like to share their feelings about any and every situation and pour out their emotions and thoughts to a friend (Tannen, Talking 11). Gray notes that when a woman gets stressed, she will usually become increasingly overwhelmed and emotional. Thus, discussing and talking about her issue would calm her down (29). In

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