From Selfish Desires to Intimate Relationships

In Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth and Darcy’s relationship seems to perfectly replicate the modern view of relationships where both individuals struggle through a difference before they fall in love. Though Elizabeth seems to be the only one in her family to desire true love, there are instances in which she shows other motives for her relationship with Darcy.

Near the beginning of the novel, after Darcy decided he was in love with Lizzy, he tries to offer her a dance and show her genuine love, but Elizabeth refuses to dance with him. Her reasoning for not accepting his offer is that she thinks he is making a mockery of her rather than complementing her. For a person to think so highly of herself, this lack of confidence is a major break in her character. Her flawed reasoning shows that she cannot even come to realization that someone of such high caliber would think of her in that way. Similarly, Darcy also has a character break when Elizabeth rejects him. Rather than accepting the fact that he was rejected he cannot seem to fathom that someone would even view him like that. Both Darcy and Elizabeth’s reactions to these seemingly absurd events show just how set they are on their prejudice views. A major part of their character development includes changing the stubborn views they have on society.

When Elizabeth rejects Darcy’s first proposal, she tells him that she does not feel bad about rejecting him, because he has not behaved in a "gentlemanlike manner" (Austen 34.24). Darcy’s view as a gentlemen to others is important to him and we see many instances in which he tries to protect his identity. During the second proposal, he says that:

“I shall never forget: 'had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner.' Th...

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...mates in the way we think about soul mates, but they certainly are life mates: they are both willing to work hard for their marriage and their family.

In each novel, characters are able to use the impractical nature of their environment to create an even stronger companionship. Though we cannot entirely relate to their world, we can relate to the compassion that they show among each other. Today, people are often accustomed to this false impression of companionship that is solely based on ones love for the other person rather than what an individual gets out of it themselves. Even though their relationship were initially based on egocentric motivations, we saw how it grew into a compassionate bond. All love is stemmed from some type of personal desire, what makes it worthwhile is whether one is able to use that desire as a starting point for a deeper relationship.