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I have spent a great portion of my life on the outside looking in. As a child, I suffered from an undiagnosed case of a severe form of social anxiety known as selective mutism. I refused to speak to anyone but my parents. When I was out in public, I would open my mouth to say something, but something inside me just told me that I couldn’t. I was a child with so much pent up energy that I could not release. I had so much to say, but I just could not. It was like there was a brick wall between me and everyone around me. Throughout the years, my condition more or less stayed the same, but instead of just appearing shy to others, I was seen as rude and inconsiderate. I tried everything to remedy my situation. I tried to reach out to people and
In Junior and Senior year I was put into a alternative education class so it would be easier for me to speak and I wouldn 't have anxiety. That decision was the best decision. There were 8 kids in the class instead of 35. It got easier and easier for me to speak. I can now voice my own opinion but still be afraid. I don’t really care if people are quirky and I have my flaws. People who truly care about me will look past them. I now help people who are struggling with the same things I went through, because I know what is was like and I don’t want them to go throw the pain and suffering I went through. I try to help others overcome fear of judgment like I had to
Something that I have learned after overcoming this battle is that life is very unpredictable and it is up to the individual to rise above and choose the right path. This excerpt from the poem “Recovery” by Maya Angelou has given me encouragement and inspiration to move on with my life and become the best person that I can be: “A last love, proper in conclusion, should snip the wings forbidding further flight. But I now reft of that confusion, am lifted up and speeding towards the light.” I live by these words everyday because they motivate me to succeed and overcome the impossible.
The very idea of spending time with people outside of school is exhausting and my heart begins to pound as I raise my hand to speak during class. Speaking in public, even if it’s just to answer a question in class, or carrying out tasks like ordering Chinese food can lead to tears or a sudden lack of ability to breathe. If I think I say something in a weird way or join a conversation I feel I should not have joined, I will remember the terror (because it is pure terror) that I felt in that moment basically
To make matters worse, I had no one to turn to. I sat alone at lunch for weeks, shut out by people who had known each other since kindergarten. For the first time, I watched from the outside as everyone else seemed to meet success at every turn. People were nice to me, but not anything real. My own fear and loneliness made it seem like any extension of kindness was fake. A girl named Anna, who I now call a close friend, asked me countless times to eat lunch together, but my own anxieties held me
Hesselman coined the term “selective mutism” in 1983 to describe the disorder previously called “aphasia voluntaria, elective mutism, speech phobia, psychological mutism, and hearing mute” among fourteen other historic terms (Dow, Freeman, Garcia, Leonard, & Miller, 2004; Kearney, 2010). The American Psychiatric Association, or APA, characterizes selective mutism by a “persistent failure to speak in specific social situations where speech is expected, despite speaking in other situations.” Selective mutism shifted in recent years from being viewed as a response to trauma sustained early in life to a manifestation of an anxiety disorder (Dow et al, 2004). This paper briefly covers all aspects of selective mutism from signs and symptoms to diagnosis and treatment.
I am so scared to let people know I'm different. I get horrible anxiety when we have discussions as a class because I can never hear what anyone says. People always laugh at me now because I always have to ask them to repeat themselves. My immediate default setting is to use this as my weakness. I rely on my mom or my dad to communicate to people when I'm too scared
in order to help myself become happy again, but that was going to be difficult since the
I was always a shy person who spent most of his time by himself because I was always had the impression of being ignored by others which is why I never I had the courage to speak in front of a crowd or even a small group. I also, couldn’t make friends easily. They were many reason why I couldn’t make friends. I had trust issues. I did not trust anyone, but leaving through this experience has helped me overcome my issues. When I came to the United States, I took speech class which has helped be overcome my shyness. Now, I have the courage to speak in front of a crowd with any fears of being disappointed or defeated by my fears. Moreover, I have the
Ever since I was in middle school, people always told me that I’m quiet and shy. Having said that, I never felt comfortable communicating with people I didn't know that well. That also includes speaking or presenting in front of a class. According to my family and friends, I’m the complete opposite, because they claim that I’m talkative. Being shy and nervous did affect my schoolwork. I wouldn’t raise my hand in class that often, because I didn’t feel comfortable enough. When I was in 6th grade, my teacher would always call up students to share something they liked about a story they read. When the teacher called out my name, my heart started pounding, my hands were shaking and my mind went completely blank. I was so nervous to the point where I felt like I was going to pass out any moment. That’s when I asked the teacher if I could excuse myself to go to the bathroom. She didn’t mind that request so I tried to calm myself down by washing my face and breathing. After class, my teacher and I discussed my inability to present in front of a class. She was obliging, because she agreed to help me overcome being shy and to help boost my self-confidence. Shyness and nervousness also stopped me from participating in activities and obtaining opportunities. In 10th grade, my Chemistry teacher suggested a film festival, because she was aware that I loved filmmaking. At first, I considered the idea, because I’ve never done anything like it before. Having thought about it, I then realized that I was going to have my movie up on a full screen where
I was unaware of the speech problem I had at the time, until I was pulled from my classroom to work with a speech-language pathologist on the troubles I was having pronouncing certain sounds. After this issue had been made known to me, I held feelings of embarrassment and anxiety when talking to my peers and teachers, which contributed to having lost confidence when communicating to those unfamiliar to me and while in the academic setting. The SLP I had worked with had offered therapy in discreet ways, mostly involving games that aided in my articulation of the sounds I was having problems with. Gaining the confidence I needed to make friends without having to think about my speech difficulties was something that I hold of value. Thus, having others become more confident and believe in themselves, especially at an early age is held close to me, and I desire to delve further into
The start of a new school year as a freshmen in high school away from my hometown. Everyone is anxious for this new and fresh start meeting new people and friends. I’m on my way to school very nervous and worried that they might laugh at me. As soon as I enter the class late, everyone stops and stares at me; I walk down the aisle to the nearest empty seat. I sat down quietly throughout my classes in fear that they might notice I’m a, “funny talker,” or that they laugh at me. Everyone avoided talking to me, seat next to me, or even do projects with me. I don’t have a contagious disease; I’m like every other ordinary girl in school. I work hard for my grades, I join organizations, I have no disability, I have control of my body, but I can’t control my stuttering. I’ve had this speech disorder since I was younger. I always had trouble making friends because I stress out and get anxiety trying
I did have great communication skills but whenever I had to communicate in front of a group of people for some reasons I fail miserably. My public speaking fears had become worst when I got to college. I was required to take a public speaking class which I couldn’t escape in since it was one of the required courses for my degree. My first day on that class is so far the most terrible day of my life. I was asked to introduce myself to the class using only one word to describe me, the moment that my name was called it felt like I was walking into an unfamiliar galaxy. I am standing in front of a classroom full of strangers doing nothing but looking around and
I used to be very shy, and not talk to a lot of people. It was a big part of my personality, and I would only talk to someone when spoken to. Wong explains how I acted very well, “My friends and family probably wouldn 't describe me as shy. But for me, being shy has always been about struggling to connect with people I don 't know. I fear the unfamiliarity of a stranger—how they might judge or reject me. Maybe there 's nothing inherently wrong with being timid, but when I started noticing how it affected my everyday life, I wanted to get it under control.” (para. 3). I started getting more and more talkative as I grew older, but one day I decided to change. I began to come out of my comfort zone. For example, I made myself talk more to people even though I was afraid of what I would say, but I made myself do it anyways. This helped me communicate a lot with people, because they began to respect me more, because I would also watch what I would say to them. I still watch what I say most of the time to people because one of my biggest fears is to offend someone on accident because of something that I said. Making myself talk to people more made me a much more outgoing person, which is a big part of who I
Whenever I had something to say, I could not bring myself to say it. I also made short pauses before I replied to someone’s question. If I did manage to say something, however, I would always stutter my lines in a way that would annoy the person I was talking to. Even making eye contact proved to be difficult. Because of this unpleasant activity, social anxiety sufferers make sure to never develop any sort of conversation with anyone. Severe cases of social anxiety can cause improper communication with even your closest friends and family. I became distant from my loved ones as a result. I kept quiet, despite my strong desire to express my thoughts. Having the inability to communicate with people will only prove to be difficult when attempting to live a normal, everyday
People all over the world have accomplished things that made them who they are today. Overcoming shyness was a huge accomplishment and something that was very significant to me that marked my transition from childhood to adulthood.