Analysis Of Deborah Tannen's Talk In The Intimate Relationship

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Deborah Tannen wrote “ Talk in the Intimate Relationship” to help people learn something about how men and women's interactions differ. She is a language scholar and has past experience of failed relationships and she feels as though this was because of lack of communication. Her main focus is on metamessages, these are messages that go beyond what we say. She states that the people that are literal minded, miss out on the context of what communication is. What this essay will consist of being what Tannen calls metamessages, summarizing her article on how men and woman talk, deciding whether Tannen is favorable to both genders and last but not least if I agree to an extent with Tannen says in her article. Males and females, according to Tannen differ in the sense of communication and it is described as “cross-cultural communication.” We are different from each other because of our past experiences; as we grow, us females are treated differently and talk differently than males it is as though we grow up in different worlds. Females have different expectations about the role of talk in a relationship.The meaning of metamessages is a form of indirectness, us women are more indirect and we want agreement by negotiating it, it displays a form of cohesion. Tannen indicates that women and men are different in the aspect of how we interpret things and understanding. Woman are faster to misunderstand things, we are more indirect as in we want to reach an agreement. Most of the time men and woman cannot reach an agreement because of how they have different ways of talking things out and different ways of going about it. Women are more accustomed to metamessages. My personal opinion is that women are more attentive to the small details whi... ... middle of paper ... ...give them attention anymore”. Women always feel like they need to be reassured and I strongly believe that this is why they say that . All in all I agree with Tannen's claim and I feel that metamessages can be fully avoided if they both just do not see the negative aspect of the situation and criticize each other in a positive way that will help not only them grow but also the relationship.Most of the time metamessages are observed by the women in the relationship because she often feels like there is more to the situation than what the person is actually implying and I do feel like this could be avoided by first trying to tell your partner what you actually mean and also as I said before giving constructive criticism, even though there are not a lot of ways to fix this situation I feel like this is the best option, Building each other up in a positive way is key.

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