Ideas that Dr. Deal will express in his book, Dating and the Single Parent are based around blended families. Dr. Deal is an advocate for first marriage reconciliation but believes blended families need more help. “Balancing your desire for love with kids’ need for stability and emotional safety is tough” (Deal, 2012, p. 25). In Dr. Deal’s introduction he expressed that dating is hard if you are newly single, but even harder if newly single with kids. The natural course that Dr. Deal explains is more of a non-competitive family. Marriage with children can be competitive from children and new spouses unless handled properly. Children do not always need a new mother or father to make a family whole. This idea Dr. Deal expresses is not a good reason to look for a mate.
Dr. Deal gives us the reader a synopsis of how single parents with children look at dating. Many single parents have become me daters, what kids! When single parents look for future mates they have a tendency to look for the fairy tale ending and their soul mate, or who can make them feel warm and fuzzy inside forgetting that a person’s values especially those you intend to take around your children need intensive scrutiny. In this book, Dr. Deal wants single parents really to understand the impact their decisions have on their children, and seek God’s wisdom.
God’s involvement in dating is threefold, “walk humbly with God with a common heart, faith, value system, and approach to life. Love the person sacrificially without reservation, and trust that they will do the same for you; and if the children involved in your union would be graced by your common commitment to the Lord and combined families” (Deal, 2012, p. 33).
Dr. Deal also expresses that b...
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...ldren not to have to choose between a parent and stepparent.
“Learning to rely on God; gaining a deeper spiritual life. Keeping change to a minimum, there are already enough changes for your children to adjust to. Becoming mature sooner, being alone is a chance to grow up and function as an adult. Living out God’s first choice, taking the time to hear what God wants for our lives. Bonding more closely with your children; without a spouse or partner your relationship with your children many become deeper and fuller” (Frisbie & Frisbie, 2006, p. 165).
Butterworth, B. (2005). New Life after Divorce: The promise of Hope Beyond the Pain. Colorado Springs: WaterBrook Press.
Deal, R. L. (2012). Dating and the Single Parent. Bloomington: Bethany House.
Frisbie, D., & Frisbie, L. (2006). Moving Forward After Divorce. Eugene: Harvest House Publishers.
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