It all began as I got out of an unrequited relationship with my former boyfriend. He was too caught up on himself and didn’t take my needs into consideration. He ignored me and did what he wanted. He was never able to fulfill any of my needs. It was like being in a relationship with a brick. So I decided to end it. Therefore, I was left with an empty hole in my heart that needed to be filled.
#1 the Infatuation Stage
This is the first stage in every relationship. As described by Elizabeth Arthur in 9 Relationship Stages That All Couples Go Through, “It almost always starts with an intense attraction and an uncontrollable urge to be with each other”. Both may be intensely attracted to each other, or both may simply enjoy each other’s company. In this stage, both overlook each other’s flaws and only focus on the good sides.
Since I am not one to rush into a relationship, I decided take things slow. I wanted to be single for some time until I found my perfect match. I wanted to be certain, as I could not bear anther disappointment. While doing research, I suddenly came across an image of him and my heart skipped a beat. His shady black and soft mellow skin made me grow an intense attraction for him. I had him engraved in my head and was intrigued to know everything about him. So I began asking my friends questions about him such as: Is he fast? Is he big? Will he let me talk to friends? Can I easily push his buttons? Will he break down on me? But of course, they weren’t able to answer all my questions. But as intrigued as I now was, I decided go on the hunt for him.
#2 the understanding / the Romance Stage
As describe by Bruce Mizik in The 5 Stages of Relationship “Nature designed the Romance Stage to have ...
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... I fumble in spelling a word… (he) automatically corrects me—a selfless act to keep my best interests in mind” (Cipriani). But I’ve started taking him for granted. I am just using him. I go out with friends and prefer to leave him home because I don’t want to be looking out for him. I’m neglecting you. But it is time for me to focus on myself. These past months with you all I’ve been doing is “living in a constant state of semi-paralyzing fear that the battery is going to die on you unexpectedly …” (Fagan). It’s not you, it’s me. I’ve come to realize I need some space to figure our relationship out. I just can’t help to realize we have a rather symbiotic relationship in which “my phone knows the finite details of my brightest and darkest moments. Through snaps and taps I’m constantly pouring my heart out to my hand-held device and get nothing in return” (Cipriani).
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