Humorous Wedding Speech by the Best Man
When Daniel came to me and asked me to be his best man, it was a great honour but, when I looked at all the duties required of me, I felt he’d be better off choosing someone else. Then he offered me a fifty, but I told him that it wasn’t a decision that money could change. So then he offered me a hundred.
Anyway, good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - My name is Rob and it’s my pleasure to be Daniel's best man today.
So let me tell you about all those best man duties that originally concerned me, because I was immediately stumped by the first one: ‘ensure that the groom’s face and hair are in order.’ Well Daniel, I have to say that if nature didn't get them in order the first time around, what chance did I have? It was also my responsibility to ensure the groom choose his clothes wisely. Well, there wasn't a suit in the shop that he didn't try on. As many of you know, Daniel's job as a Policeman requires him to keep calm in stressful situations, so it was a bit of a surprise when he asked the shop owner if he could throw in a spare pair of underpants too.
My second duty was to get Daniel to the church on time. Not an easy task, particularly since Kim's nickname for Daniel is 'Everlast' - not for his bedroom skills, but for his time keeping. We have GMT, we have BST, but is anyone here familiar with PWT? Well, Daniel Wilson Time runs about 40 minutes behind either ...
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...2 of us on the trip and it’s only fair that the culprit for this unfortunate accident remains anonymous, because it could ruin his wedding day if anyone else found out.
Thinking that was pretty much it, Kim reminded me of a duty that wasn’t on my list. As best man, it is my job to keep all Daniel’s past female acquaintances at bay. I told her not to worry as the wedding is on a Friday, and I doubt they'd be allowed the day off school.
So now I come to my final wedding day duty which isn’t a duty really – it’s a real pleasure: on behalf of the bridesmaids and myself I sincerely wish you, Daniel, and your lovely wife, Kim, everlasting love and happiness!
Ladies and gentlemen, to the bride and groom!
Second, the groom visits the bride’s parents at their house to talk with her parents about the marriage. The parents question the groom to see if he actually loves their daughter. The groom clarifies to the bride’s parents he meet their daughter and fell in love with her. The groom also says he knows their daughter like a recipe. In the end of the visit, the parents tell him to come back in a week.
Kain -Another duty of course is to thank John on behalf of the bridesmaids, for his kind words, and I have to say they look absolutely wonderful and have done an excellent job today. Wouldn’t you agree Brandon?
You know, while I was watching my son and future daughter-in-law suffer through the painful process of planning their wedding, I asked myself, “What would it be like if men were responsible for organizing weddings?”
Firstly, on behalf of the bridesmaids, I'd like to thank Mike for his kind words and reiterate how wonderful they look and what a fantastic job they have done today. I would also like to say that Sallie looks stunning - as I'm sure you'll all agree. Which really isn't that much of a surprise given we are related.
Now the real version. I would like to thank the groom for asking me to be his best man. It has been a pleasure helping them prepare for today. For all the banter that has passed between us it should be fairy obvious that we are the best of mates. I am going to finish now by asking you to join me in wishing them many years of happiness. Ladies and gentlemen, the bride and groom. That's the end of my speech. I am sure you will be as glad as me that there is no more.
It is customary for the best man to retell an embarrassing tale or two from the bridegroom’s past. As Gary’s oldest friend, this part of the speech fell to me. However, I had two problems with this. Firstly, Gary originally insisted on vetting the speech, which would have meant me going to the trouble of preparing two speeches. Luckily, he relented. Secondly, Gary is the original Mr. Nice Guy and it's very difficult to think of anything bad to say about him. So, back to you Steve!
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I'm Neal, the bride's brother. On behalf of my mother, Mrs. Lian White, I wish to thank you all for coming to celebrate this special occasion with us. We are so happy that so many of our friends and relatives are able to come here to enjoy this splendid occasion with us.
In his article, “The Gender Gap at School,” David Brooks scrutinizes common gender roles and introduces the idea that biological factors may play a role in human development. He begins his essay by analyzing the three gender segregated sections in any airport, which include the restrooms, security pat-down areas, and the bookstore. He goes on to explain that the same separation occurs in the home. Brooks includes a study given to nine hundred men and women who were asked to name their favorite novel. The study determined that men preferred novels written by fellow men, whereas women favored books written woman.
As Father of the Bride, I am honored to be the first to speak this evening. I would like to begin by welcoming each and every one of you on this joyous occasion. It is good to see so many friends and family here today to help celebrate Paula and Manson’s wedding. I would also like to remember those who have meant so much to our family, but could not be here today.
Best man 2 :Also, thanks must go to the beautiful bridesmaids, who did a fabulous job today getting the bride ready and making sure she didn't back out. So if you could please raise your glasses again. To the bridesmaids.
Firstly, on behalf of the bridesmaids, I'd like to thank the groom for his kind words, and I have to say they have done an excellent job today and look absolutely wonderful.
As time allowed more men and more women to be schooled together, it was evident that a woman's presence alone would not ensure an equally beneficial education. The school systems continue to follow a gendered curriculum, created mainly by men in order to serve men. It is the reinforcement of the gender biases and assumptions through their methodical distribution and teaching of stereotypes and ideas that put the education of men and women on two separate levels. There is no example to follow when it comes to the equal education of children because even though they receive the same education, it is far from equal. It is this along with the lack of recognition towards women who have achieved greatness both in and out of education that creates an outsider status for the female student (Lasser, 1987).
First, I would like to say, I am sorry for not being here today to represent you as a sister and to celebrate this unity with you and Jennifer. I’m so happy that this day has finally arrived; you have taken Jennifer as your eternal soulmate before God, close family members, and friends. You are a wonderful person with a big heart, with no doubt, I know you will do everything in your power to make Jennifer happy, support her, and love her wholeheartedly. Today, it’s an honour to have this speech read to you at your wedding while I am thousands of miles away, even though, I am so far away I have cherished every memory of you being my brother, and I have kept you and the rest of the family close at heart. I wish you and your beautiful
“Indeed it will be a long time still, I think, before a woman can sit down to write a book without finding a phantom to be slain, a rock to be dashed against.” These wise words originate from a speech titled “Professions for Women” by a famous female author, Virginia Woolf. For centuries, women and men alike have been involved in a detailed struggle for women’s equality. Over the years, women have become dramatically more equal to men, although many still feel suppressed from several opportunities. But what about men? Females are not the only ones who face inequality on a daily basis; males encounter ridicule if they do not behave a certain way and are constantly oppressed from academic opportunities. The largest issue facing young men in today’s society is the intense focus placed on girls and their proper treatment from an early age.
...school teachers was increasing. Boys, however continued to out-perform girls in scientific and technical subjects where teaching was still dominated by men" (122). With the statistics provided we can see that boys are performing poorly academically when in the hands of women. It isn't known for sure what's causing this problem or how it can be fixed, but one must start by realizing that there is a problem.